Unraveling the Enigma...sorta

2006-10-05T21:46:00.000-04:00

Just updating the link to where I am currently. I have registered a domain and Enigma maybe back one day, but not sure how or when.

me: http://phillykat.livejournal.com/

2006-01-30T16:04:00.000-05:00

Alright, I haven't posted here since Jesus was babe. The blog went out of me after my domain was heisted. I've slowly but surely started posting here and there on a livejournal I created just for ID purposes. If you want, ck me here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/phillykat/

2004-04-15T22:18:00.000-04:00

My domain is back up.

the-enigma.net/blog

2004-04-15T19:24:00.000-04:00

Yes, I'm -cidal. Homicidal. Not suicidal.

I realize I sound like I was about to walk in front of a train, but I'm not. I'm just trying to come to grips with the reality of my life and those within it, thats all. Also wouldn't mind if someone would disappear. I won't say drop dead, though I want to, just disappear and leave me alone.

2004-04-15T12:59:00.000-04:00

I'm an Imbecile

You know for as smart as I think I am (street & book) something happens to prove me wrong. I'm a dummy. I guess my father was right when he called me dummy & stupid every day. I thought I had proven him wrong. Guess he had some kind of foresight that I don't. Only an idiot would keep thinking that if you treat people honorably & truthfully that they will behave the same. Only an idiot would keep thinking things are going to be alright at some point even when every indication is that it's not. How pathetic is it that I wish my mom were still alive so I wouldn't feel so alone right now? A grown ass woman in my 30s and I think if my mommy were here things would be better. That's just silly. Can you say loser?

How do things change so quickly? Yesterday, I was in such a good mood. This morning, the rug was pulled from beneath me. I don't even know why I try. Almost everything in me wants to give up. I'm guessing if it weren't for my slight competitive streak, I would have given up a long time ago. I'm so tired. I think I might knock the teeth down the throat of the next person who says 'things are going to get better.'

2004-04-14T17:42:00.000-04:00

Popped some popcorn. I burned my arm. :( Mouf used up all my burn cream and said nothing of course.

Not letting anything get me down though. I'm watching a Matrix marathon. Yea me! I've got my poppy corn (I did it a li'l different.. put garlic and chili seasoning in it... not too shabby). Got some candy. Ate my snickers (thought it would give me an energy boost). I have some jellybeans and sour heads (lemon, orange, sour apple, grape, and cherry). Now, all I need is some nachos and I'd be set. Oh yeah, I have some lemonade too. Hoooo Bah!

2004-04-14T14:07:00.000-04:00

Which Apprentice are You?

I am like Kwame.

-- "I think street-smarts are more important than book-smarts but luckily I have both."

Kwame was the Project Manager for Versacorp on the Planet Hollywood challenge.

Which Apprentice are You?

brought to you by The Apprentice Blog and Quizilla

from my comments on EJ Flavors:

I KNEW IT! I could tell by the choices. I'm Kwame. Iont even really like Kwame's style. He's to wishy washy and doesn't seem to have the smarts he claims to have. If he had, he wouldn't have chosen Omarosa, eventhough he would have gotten stuck with her anyway. I'd be much better than him.

2004-04-14T13:09:00.000-04:00

40 Days & 40 Nights

It is so rainy here. Little animals have been running south towards the docks for last few days.

My day so far...

-I woke up at 8:30a. Fell back asleep.
-I woke up at 9:30a and went to the bathroom. Fell back asleep.
-I woke up at 10am. I got up at 10:20am, went back to the bathroom, got dressed, and got on the floor to do some crunches. Fell back asleep....didn't do crunch the first.
-I woke up at 11 something am because I was in some cat like position and couldn't breathe. This loud buzz saw sound woke me up. I hate snoring. I thought I got up, but in actuality I rolled over and ...yup... fell back asleep.
-I woke up at 12:06pm and turned on the tv.
-I wanna go back to sleep.

How's your day?

2004-04-13T19:10:00.000-04:00

HEY NOW. CYBERPIXELS REALIZED THEY HADN'T TAKEN MY SITE DOWN...FINALLY!

2004-04-11T23:07:00.000-04:00

Dining Out for Life

On the 29th of April, restaurants across the U.S.A. will donate 33% of their daily profits to HIV & AIDS charities. There is also a volunteer program. It isn't clear how it works. You may also register to win prizes. In Philadelphia there will be 2 trips to the Dominican Republic given away.

For those of you that always talk about giving to charity, but never or rarely do, here's your chance to go out with friends or alone for a meal (breakfast, lunch , and/or dinner) and support a charity. Just go to DiningOutForLife.com, click a city, and find a restaurant.

2004-04-11T16:11:00.000-04:00

Rappin' Easter Bunny

This cute. If you celebrate, I hope you have/had a happy (took all my strength not to type hoppy) Easter (Estarte)

2004-04-10T22:02:00.000-04:00

The Question Game

I think this guy might be a little nutso or maybe its just the game; the jury is still out. Just my type! Truly, there aren't many questions just statements and choices. It's kinda funny and a good way to waste some time.

1- b. You must carry a yippy toy dog with you everywhere you go, including the shower, the bathroom and any other place you go 24/7.

everybody needs a friend

2 - b. Stephen Hawking does all your talking for you (yet you must wheel him around in that damn wheelchair everywhere.)

well, he's smarter, maybe i'll get a job. moreover, maybe he'll give me money and i won't need a job. sit on my face and tell me that you love me

3 - b. Your head will accidentally get squished inbetween two elevator doors (as they're closing) and although you won't be mortally injured -- your head will look like a squished pear for the rest of your life. (This means, you can't ever wear hats again, by the way.)

he didn't say i couldn't wear scarves. ;)

4 - a. You will become the National Spokesperson for an extra-strength hemerroid medicine.

lesser of 2 evils and all that

5 - b. You wake up one day as a beautiful BLIND person and fall in love with a member of the opposite sex (or the sex you're attracted to) who happens to have a face deformity.

as long as i can't see it i'm chill. plus, i don't want a beautiful blonde girl in love with me.

6 - b. You will take a job as the sole caretaker of an iguana habitat at the local zoo, where you will eventually start to talk to the iguanas, halfway believing they are talking to you although they are not..

always wanted to be dr. doolittle. if i could talk to the animals, just imagine it...

**I'm double posting on both blogs cuz I don't know why this one is still up.**

2004-04-10T03:17:00.000-04:00

O For Fuck's Sake!

I hate network tv! Why is it that almost every show I like gets the axe? A little creativity goes a very short way in Hollyweird these days. Geez I wish I was a Nielsen family.

I just found out the new show, Wonderfalls, that only aired 4(!) times got the boot. I stumbled across it a few Thursdays ago while I was in search of something that wasn't a snooze fest and/or a repeat. Wonderfalls was actually interesting and funny. The quirky characters were slowly developing as they should. The first time I saw it I thought it should be on cable, maybe paired with Dead Like Me. I give up hope that another network or cable station will pick it up. They only pick up crap. FOX use to be the network for quirky, funny, creative, and different shows. I'd ask what happened, but to be honest, I don't really care. It probably has something to do with 2 letters, O.C. eh

The co-creator and exec producer, Todd Holland, put it nicely when he said, 'Networks could find themselves stocking up on reality fare but also acquiring a sameness that erases their identities.'

"I feel like the sort of wonder you can create from small worlds of fiction is totally in danger of extinction because people _ the audience or the networks _ don't have the patience to nurture that kind of journey," Holland said.

I like a good reality series, mostly the game show/sporty type ones, but I'd prefer watching a well produced, scripted, and acted series any day/time of the week. HBO use to have a series called Short Attention Span Theatre, which was funny as hell. It only lasted a few weeks because it was sick and I was apparently the only person that watched it. The skits (done with hand puppets, dolls, and animals I might add) were maybe 2 minutes in length, quite possibly too long for today's average tv viewer.

"Anything you don't nurture and feed, withers. Our imaginations, our dreaming spirits, are in danger of giving up."

How can you argue with that?

2004-04-10T03:11:00.000-04:00

from arcs posted 4/9

Real Age

Thanks (maybe boo) to Groove Bunny for finding a quiz that calculates your real age. Always knew I was old.

**************
Angry Pete

I like Angry Pete. He's not so much angry as he is honest and funny. You know I love the funny. Honesty is just icing on the cake. Why have I singled out Pete since my blogroll (and favorites) are chock full of honest & funny people? Because today he's doing something I've not seen. He's reader topic blogging.

Yesterday, Pete asked commenters to leave one topic they'd like him to blog about today. One topic per comment. One comment per person unless it's really good. True to his word, he is blogging about the topics left in his comments. Currently, my topic substance vs. superficial is up to bat.

***This quite probably be my last blog on this server. Don't forget to go to blogger tomorrow. phillykat.blogspot.com If you need an email that will be viable tomorrow, email now and I'll send it to you.

2004-04-10T02:22:00.000-04:00

from arcs posted 4/8

Y'all Thought It Was Only Me

You guys thought odd crap only happens to me. Granted I may be the only one out there ever chased by the police for breakinging into a playground, have Mexican army type guys have a machine gun this close (holding hand up with thumb and index finger about 3 inches apart), been almost arrested in 3 count 'em 3 European countries, but my point is.... um... what is my point? Oh yeah, my point is that I'm not the only one that finds drama.

Imagine if....alright don't imagine it just go to Bassey World and read it. I must say that she was much kinder than I would have been, especially initially. There would have been a "Yo, papi, back the fuck up and get out my space," followed by my just screwing with dudes mind. I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

************

Let's Shorten the 15 Minute Thing

I will be ecstatic when William Hung's 15 minutes are over.

Has anyone else noticed that since William Hung has "She Banged" we have not seen Ri.cky Mar.tin anywhere. Separated at birth? No. Same person? Maybe. That's right I said it. Ricky, wanting to be taken seriously while in university, went for a major transformation. Mark my words. Soon we will find out he has had really bad plastic surgery and that Ri.cky Ma.rtin is, indeed, William Hung. Let's just hope the surgery is reversible.

2004-04-10T02:20:00.000-04:00

from arcs posted 4/8

Note to Self

If I am ever the perpetrator of a crime, especially one who's outcome is loss of life, flee the scene, lawyer up, and then publicly confess to said crime while in tears at least one week later. I just have to remember to stay out the sun, as to not get too much color, and make sure the victims aren't 'white'. Hmm perhaps I should get some green or blue contacts.

Oh, sorry just thinking aloud. See, I get all my 'how to stay my bountiful beige ass outta jail free' cards from real life incidents. If I should ever snap and murder my child, I'm going for postpartum depression. If the child is too old, I'm going to leave the country ala Pat.sy Ram.sy. If I, say, run over children with my car, I'll just do a Jennifer Porter, and, as Shasta said, cry like a pretty white women.

2004-04-10T01:52:00.000-04:00

from arcs posted 4/8

Eye Jewelry

WTF!!! Some people have too much damn time on their hands. They need constructive hobbies to stop them from doing stupid shit to their bodies. Enough editorializing. Go read about the possible new fad in the Netherlands called Jewel Eye that costs anywhere from $610 to $1,232. As Justin said in IMs, "I can stick something in there for free!"

************
A Book youyou (I can't stand meme)

I thought this was stupid fun and I am majorly bored. So, here are the instructions:

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 23.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal (sic) along with these instructions

Now what is it? -- Folk Remedies That Work, Joan & Lydia Wilen (1989)

found on Cornsmut

2004-04-10T01:43:00.000-04:00

from arcs posted 4/7

Am I Becoming Dumber?

I spent today on careerbuilder.com reading job listings. At one point I began to wonder if I were becoming dumber because I couldn't believe so many people are inept at business writing. Exact. Clear. Concise. That is business writing, no room for creativity and/or fluff. No company or department specific jargon should be used. And yet, that is not what I was reading. Several times I found myself re-reading listings until I was fed up, said, "Ah fuck it," and hit next. Eventually, I gave up. My eyes were watering from the countless eyerolls. The idea came to me that these listings were written specifially for someone(s), perhaps even for jobs that were filled and just posted by law.

*deep breathy sigh*

2004-04-09T23:46:00.000-04:00

Reading Is Fundemental

Since a few, namely two, of you folk sufferin' from old timers didn't understand that when I said I was moving here temporarily on the 10th meant that I was moving here temporarily on the 10th, I will be reposting some of the last post from my site.

Why? Cuz y'all missed some good stuff. Like the midget sex gang, the oral stripper, and ......sike alright thats all lies. But you did miss jewel eye and Angry Pete's commenter topic day.

Will start momentarily I guess.

2004-04-08T14:58:00.000-04:00

why are u here...go away. the 10th..the 10th!

i'm still on cyberpix's server til the 10th. www.the-enigma.net

2004-04-06T16:36:00.000-04:00

HEY! You made. Kuddos. Now, grab some tea and cookies. I'm gonna go finish watching the Matrix: Revolutions.

2004-04-03T00:33:00.000-05:00

Well, if I have set everything up correctly, this should show. So, let's see.

edit: yup it works.

2003-09-30T21:00:00.000-04:00

Jinx the Kat

Not only do "I hate meeces to pieces," like my Hanna-Barbera cartoon pal, Mr. Jinx, but I believe I am indeed a jinx. Case and point, one of my favorite bloggers lost his job as soon as I started reading his words. Soon, thereafter, he called it quits. Bob had a catergory called 'Things Bob Actually Does Know About Women' that I absolutely loved. He was at #17 when he went "Bye Bye Bye." SHUT UP! I'm allowed to make *Ns.ync references if I wanna. Since then, bloggers have gone on hiatus like Jane or have just opted to not come back like Sammy. All I wanna know is if it's me. And if it is me, what the fuck is wrong with y'all! Snap out of it!

*****

Couch spud wants to know....

WTF is up with the comdies this season? I smile and laugh more at the so-called dramas than these sad ass comedies. Hell, I'm funnier than that and I don't try. I'm just a damn oddball....eh eccentric....ehhh.......um k.

2003-09-30T18:38:00.000-04:00

Dueling Rappers

Why I have never been a big fan of LL Cool J (I prefer his movies over his music) and why I've always loved Chuck D. Besides the intelligence and social commentary factor that is.

2003-09-30T18:13:00.000-04:00

Spud Russett

I am such a couch potato. I mean a huge one. Hey! That's #11 of things about me. If I could get paid for sitting on my ass and watching tv or talking about tv, by gum I'd do it! I'd work quicker than a $2 toothless whore at a head convention. I might get lockjaw, but I'd get paid for something I'm good at.

I think this is the plight of the latch key kid. I was raised a bit by tv. My friends were there. The Banana Splits, I knew them well. [I know I'm not the only one that wanted to be one of those girls (grape girls?).] Shirley Temple theatre and Abbott & Costello every Sunday for years. The dad I wanted was on tv. I'm still gonna get me a Kitty Carryall damnit. A Kitty Carryall that I can play with in my tardis. The bestest mom ever. Carol Brady was da mom! I ont (that's I don't for the slang challenged) care what y'all say! hmpf!

edit a few mins lata......

Shit, I got so into my family fantasy world I forgot what I was talking about. NnnnnnEeeeeeeway, so yeah I'm a spud russet. I need a good kick in the ass. Problem is I'm fucking sitting on it so unless someone wants to kick me in the chair, it ain't gonna happen. I think you all should write Dr. Phil about me. I really do. I need motivation and discipline. Ouuu see if Sally Jessy or Maury were still on, they could send me to boot camp. Woooo that would be so disasterous. There would be more fighting than a little bit. I'd shank a muthafukka. *shivers* Alright, maybe not that much discipline. I am, afterall, a pisces. Hey did you all know that? No? Hot Damn! That's #12!

By the way, the meaning of life is 42 in case you didn't know. *wink*

2003-09-30T01:27:00.000-04:00

Things About Me You May Not Know part deux

#2 I'm a light conspiracy theorist. And from the conspiracy theorist in me to you, a movie quote: "Just because I'm paranoid, don't mean somebody ain't watchin' me."

#3 I see dead people. No, really. No joke. Have since I was a child. Not all the time, mind you, just sometimes. I feel them mostly and that's enough. Some dead people can be violent. That's another reason why I stay away from churches (esp funerals and weddings if I can), hospitals, and cemetaries.

#4 I read tarot. Not professionally. Just for myself. I have read friends. To be quite honest, I really don't need the tarot to read people. I tend to already know what the cards are going to say. All I need do is concentrate. No, I will not read for you.

#5 Any psychic ability I have was inherited. I once asked my mom if anyone in our family ever saw ghosts and knew things before they happened. She stared at me for a bit and admitted that an aunt, who I never met, did, just like my grandmother. And so did she, my mom, as a child. In other words, I was born what you would probably call a 'witch'. Have I even put a spell on someone? *cheese* Wouldn't you like to know.

#6 My great-grandfather helped establish one of the first "black" churches in NC. My grandfather was a reverend and teacher who has a school named after him in NC. And I avoid churches and all organized religiony things like the plague. Now ain't that a kick in the head? My mom felt like she failed. I said she did a good damn job in that respect.

#7 I'm indigenous. My maternal grandmother was a full blood Tsalgai (Cherokee). My maternal grandfather was part Tuscarora and Crow. They were both born in the 1880s.

#8 I'm an only child with 5 older brothers and sisters. They're 11-19 years older than me. They're of an entirely different generation. I grew up alone and commiserate very well with only children.

#9 I've never been in love.

#10 At this very moment, I have to pee. Alright, that really isn't one. Here's the real one: Old men love me. Men 10-20 years my senior have been hitting on me since I was 12. Yes, 12. Personally, I have have never been attracted to an old man. Don't want one. Don't want one touching me. Don't want one kissing me. *shivers* Just no! I'm not knocking older men/younger women romances. I'm just saying "NO!" like Nancy Reagan told me to all those years ago.

I really do hafta pee.

2003-09-29T21:57:00.000-04:00

I feel a Maxine moment coming on. Ah.....

...there it goes.

2003-09-29T18:08:00.000-04:00

Mad Cow

Look at it. You 10 toed freak!

****
Joke:

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives. The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee; and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $50, go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers.......why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $20, go and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. "Hoots Mon, woman! Why are ye not wearing knickers?" She too explains, "You dinna give me enough housekeepin' money ta be able ta afforrrd any." The Scot reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the sake of decency, here's a comb, tidy yurrrself up a bit."

hahaha....Did that offend anyone? If so send your letters to, I don't give a flying fuck c/o lick me, eat me and make me a sandwich bitch, Phila Pa (The post office knows me. I'll get it.)

2003-09-29T17:00:00.000-04:00

"BOOOOIIINGGG" by oneeyedcat

You guys know that I like to go through the links that other bloggers have to see what types of blogs they read and if I might like them. I was feverishly working my way through Jane's when she put Social Reject on hiatus. I'd been through most of Rantorama's, and all of about 4 other blogs so I moved on to Scott's the pod's journal. (All of these blogs are linked at the right btw.)

I told Scott I had finally discovered the journal of a person who has commented before. I was unable to do the same because she doesn't allow anonymous comments. (Damn live journal only has 2 options...lj member or anon. *kicks live journal*) So, Pilar if you're reading, I liked what you wrote just can't show it. Sorry. Anyway, Scott suggested that I check out oneeyedcat. Man, is she speschul! I just spent a good 5 minutes laughing like a mad woman. Oneeyed likes to do drawings. (Alright did anyone else just have Mike Myers in their head when he use to do the Simon character on SNL? No. Yeah, me neither.) You have got to click the link if you haven't already and view "BOOOOIIINGGG". If you get the chance, keep reading she's amusing. Unfortunately, she took ginger down. I wish I had a copy of it.

2003-09-29T15:32:00.000-04:00

Tha Hell?

Have we run out of doll choices for our children? It's not enough to have dolls (oh pardon..action figures) of sports stars, but do we really need rappers? Anyone who spends money on this is a fool. What am I going on about? Why the new 50 Cent doll of course. Yes. Yes, it's true. Fiddy has a dolly complete with bulletproof vest. Don't believe me? Take a looksee (I refuse to display that thing).

2003-09-28T23:22:00.000-04:00

Another legendary death, this time a director. Elia Kazan, "On the Waterfront," "East of Eden," "A Street Car Named Desire," maybe best known to some for naming names during the McCarthyism, but there is no doubt he was one of the greats. Mr. Kazan was truly a directing genius. Elia Kazan was 94.

2003-09-28T20:57:00.000-04:00

Hey I'm an element!

The Potion Maker
Enigma ium is a translucent, dusty gold powder gleaned from the pollen of a morning glory.
Mix with Enigma ! Username:
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern

Katium is an opaque, acidic ochre liquid derived from the saliva of a wolf. Mixing Enigmaium with Katium causes a violent chemical reaction, producing a translucent olive potion which gives the user the power of flight.

2003-09-28T16:29:00.000-04:00

Seven on Sunday

Lyric Association 2:

You complete the line with a lyric from the first song that comes to mind... It can be in the middle of the line, or end of it, or whatever, so long as it is an actual song.

Oh, and if you read this one vertically, it actually forms a sentence... a dirty sentence, with the wrong version of "to" but a sentence no less...

1. How
2. I
3. Want
4. You
5. Too
6. Touch
7. It

done? alright my answers are below

1. How deep is your love? [BeeGees, HDIYL]
2. I can feel your lips. mmmm [Janet J., Anytime Any Place]
3. You got what I want. [Teddy P.]
4. I want you. [Paula Abdul, Sexy Thoughts]
5. He's too tough for me. I want him in between [Angela Bofill, TT]
6. Touch me. I want to feel your body. [Samantha Fox, TM]
7. Plug it in, plug it in baby. [Basement Jaxx f. JC Chasez, PIN]

I was remembering lyrics and not knowing what damn song they belonged to

2003-09-28T14:27:00.000-04:00

Reasons Why PETA Sucks

They care more for animals than their 2 legged neighbors.

Many people in PETA do it cuz it’s fashionable and they wanna get laid. “Oh, Maggie’s in that animal lovin’ group and I’ve been wanting to get in her panties for years. Let me show her my sensitive side.” “I’m bi-curious let me join a group that probably has a lot of lesbians.” “I wanna rub elbows with celebs maybe Pam Anderson will let me sniff her cleavage.” Asswipes!

They carry signs made of wood. Are not trees living creatures? Do they deserve less treatment than their woodland friends? A dead tree means less oxygen and more carbon monoxide in the air (told you they hated us). Plus, what about all the displaced animals? Their homes are being destroyed. Poor little woodchucks. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck has no wood? The answer is NONE! Po’ po’ woodchuck. *sniffle - kicks peta* This leads me to…

They don’t really love all animals. Just let a rat or some other vermin find their way into their homes. They’ll be banging the bitch with a broom like everyone else. And what about fish? What about cruelty to goldfish, trout, big mouthed bass? Where is PETA when they take a fish out of water just to film it flopping around like crazy? The damn thing is suffocating. Helllllooooo! Is that not animal cruelty? And what does PETA say? Nuthin’! "Past the tartar and cocktail sauces." Damn sommabishes!

Their favorite position is doggie style. To me that means they wanna fuck dogs. Hide your chow-chow here comes bob the pooch poker. You know that chick who sucks off a horse? She supports those animal fuckers. It’s just all too too sick.

They secretly like scrapple. Sick bastards!

They like to wear silk shirts, wool coats, and leather shoes while playing violin with their cat gut bows. It’s all too horrible for words.

They use milk in their muesili. It might not be cows milk, but its milk. Who said rice or soy milk was more humane. Do you know what they do to the poor little rice grains and soy beans to get their milk? Huh? Do ya? Their little tiny microscopic teets being hooked up to microscopic scientific milking torture machines. *sniffle* They didn’t ask for that. PETA mean to rice and soy! *kick PETA*

Yes I am truly disturbed and bored as it happens. Why do you ask?

2003-09-27T23:08:00.000-04:00

My God This Is Becoming Depressing.....

*sigh* My heart has become heavy. One of my favorite hoofers died. If you're a fan of classic movies or musicals, you probably know the name if not the face of Donald O'Connor. He sang and danced is way through what has to be, at least in my mind, one of the most memorable scenes in any musical. That scene/song being "Make 'Em Laugh" from Singing in the Rain in which he combined dance with comedy and acrobatics. He is probably best known as the only human in Francis the Talking Mule.

Though he was in ailing health he didn't loose his sense of humor. One of the last things he apparently said was, "I'd like to thank the Academy for my lifetime achievement award that I will eventually get."

Donald O'Connor was 78.

As the Lord as my witness, if Debbie Reynolds, Ann-Margaret, or someone who shall be nameless that I've been dreaming about dies this year I will be a puddle of goo and lapse into a depression that someone will have to forcibly remove me from. J you got those plane tickets yet?

2003-09-27T22:50:00.000-04:00

Mouf Strikes Again

I haven't said anything about mouf in quite some time so I thought I'd share a joyous nugget that makes me giggle at my sister's stupidity.

You know that commercial featuring "Rubberneckin" by Elvis? It's for the Toyota Solara. I'm no big Elvis fan, but I can't help but sing that song. One day we're watching tv (she was blisfully quiet ...will wonders never cease) and the commercial came on. I start singing. Mouf says, "He really sounds like him" with this silly half smile on her face. I ask, "Sounds like who?" She says Jimi Hendrix. After I looked at her like Nick looked at Jessica during the whole Chicken of the Sea debacle, I said "That's Elvis." "No," she says, "it's Jimi Hendrix." Through throngs of laughter I say "Noo the song is sung by Elvis. That doesn't sound a damn thing like Hendrix." She walks, well hobbles, away. *tears* I was howling.

As Bugs Bunny would say, "What a maroon!"

2003-09-27T19:01:00.000-04:00

Things about me

I've been on several blogs in the past few months...rt: I missed my 6 months anniversary. Unraveling the Enigma...sorta turned 6 months on the 15th of September. I so would've called you a liar in February if you said I'd be making entries 6 months later. This is so odd to me. Kinda cool, but kinda odd. end rt ...and (hee go back and re-read the begining) I've noticed several people have sections of 100 things about me or 100 little known things about me. I have avoided it until now. I like the way Xolo does his so from time to time I will make an entry listing thing(s) about me. I think I will also put back the original incarnation of my me link.

Anyway, I thought about counting down from 100, but that may make it seem like they're in some type of order other than random. So, here we go with the first..

#1 I love to read celebrity gossip, especially blind vices. I've loved to figure out blind vices since I was about 14. I'm damn good at it; when the answers show their ugly heads I'm usually right. I'm good at linking them together to full stories too. I may not remember my shopping lists, but I'll remember a vice from 10 years ago. *sigh* It's a gift. I decided to tell you guys this because the following blind vice from Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth is just to good and raunchy not to share. Celebrities are just too nasty.

She came, she saw, she served.

Herself, that is. Ms. Famous Aimless, who's supposedly dating Mr. Rocko Rocker, stepped into the kitchen of a very hip Hell-Ay hang recently. Table 8, to be exact. F.A. got herself up on the counter, she did, all ready 'n' panty-free. Skirt hiked, tiny bum squatted, legs parted--all she needed was a condom and a sprig of parsley.

But Mr. Funny Fart--who, unlike R2, isn't supposedly romancing our cuisine cutie--had something more tool-free in mind. F2, horny and hungry, eschewed protective gear and instead decided to devour F.A.'s delicacies with what is traditionally used during finer masticating experiences: the lingua.

Right smack in the open, for worker bees to see. And they did.

Don't think too many of Table 8's dishes got washed that night.

**And it ain't Gwen Stefani, JLo, or Drew Barrymore**

Now, tell me that ain't nasty? Now, tell me you ain't trynta figure out who the hell it's about? Admittedly, this is one we'll probably never have the answer to, but I'm thinking maybe Pam Anderson. Then again, she was trying to move the camera from down there when Tommy was trying to get the full experience on tape. Yes, that's right I've seen the Pam & Tommy tape so sue me. Who else is dating a rocker? Justin T. isn't a rocker and though I dislike her I've never seen Cam in little skirts. Go forth my children. Go forth and make hypotheses then come back to mama.

2003-09-27T16:58:00.000-04:00

Take Care Jane

One of my favorite bloggers has gone on hiatus due to illness. Jane take good care of yourself and return your usual snarky self. You'll be missed.

2003-09-27T16:23:00.000-04:00

In a Mood

I am in such a ify mood. I really need some leafy greens. I need some fresh (prefereably organic) veggies to juice because I'm lacking serious energy. I don't want to go to this party tonight. Ask me if I went and bought her gift? G'head ask me. Nooope! I didn't have a clue what to get and, in case you don't know, I hate shopping. I truly do. I like buying not shopping. If I want something, I go get it (well I use to when I had money). If I don't see what I want, I keep going. I don't look through racks or on tables and I don't make nice nice with sales people. I also hate trying on clothes. I am such a guy when it comes to shopping it's ridiculous. If I ever have children, I hope their father likes shopping. You know what, let me change this, I don't like clothes shopping. I could give a damn about clothes and most housewares. Jewelry (and all other accessories), shoes, vacations, electronics, furniture, and food (late nights when markets are empty) aren't that bad. Honestly, if you say hey let's go look at jewelry, head over to Best Buy, and top the day off by going to the multiplex and catching no less than 2 movies, I might pee my pants. And I'm single! Unbelievable huh? Yes, I realize the tangent queen has struck again, but I felt like sharing. Back to the party...

I've opted to take her to lunch or dinner and she can choose the place. I would've bought her a gift certificate to one of my favorite restaurants, but I can't afford it for myself let alone someone else. If my figurin' is correct, I'll spend for 2 dinners at the restaurant she'll choose what I would have spent for 1 at a restaurant of my choice. Hell, she may even choose some place like TGI Friday's. That would be a beautiful thing.

Not only do I not know what to wear, I don't particularly want to be on my way at 10p. I could have sworn this joint started at 8p. I figured I'd be on my way home at 10:30p. I hate going out at night alone. I will not know anyone there but the birthday girl. I will be such the wallflower, especially if they're not my 'type' of people. I hope I don't come off as snobbish. I am very quiet if I don't know you. Plus, I'm a watcher. I must decided if you are someone I want in my space. Ugh...I hate being social most times.

Let us pray: God grant me the serenity and presence of mind not to get snarky and make fun of people, especially when I am by myself, lest I get my ass kicked. Aaaaaaahmennnnnn.

Oh, btw, Happy Rosh Hashanah!

2003-09-27T15:46:00.000-04:00

I was in such shock yesterday, that I totally glossed over the news of the death of George Plimpton. Unfortunately, I knew him best as an actor and a politico, but he was best known as a writer. In my opinion he was a true renaissance man. Not many men can have a paragraph like this in their obit:

He sailed with John F. Kennedy, played tennis with former President Bush and rode on Air Force One with President Clinton. He witnessed a baffling encounter between Richard Nixon and Casey Stengel, when the president wanted to talk baseball and the former baseball manager wanted to discuss banking.

George Plimpton, writer, actor, renaissance man, quarterback was 76.

2003-09-26T15:06:00.000-04:00

It's that time again....NaNoWriMo

National Novel Writing Month is almost upon us. Sign ups start October 1. If you participated last year , you should have received your email to re-activate your account.

I really am going to buckle down this year.

2003-09-26T13:31:00.000-04:00

Not Again!

I was remiss Tuesday in not mentioning the death of Gordon Jump. For years he played the ever watchful (and bored) Maytag repair man. He also played Arthur Carlson on WKRP in Cincinnati from 1978 to 1982. Mr Jump died Monday at the age of 71.

The first thing I was greeted with today was that Robert Palmer had died at 54 from a heart attack. I am so tired of this. How many celebrities whose talent I have loved (or still do) at some point in my life are going to die this year? It's ridiculous and incredibly odd to me. Katherine Hepburn, Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and their cohorts fine. They lived to good ages though for all intents and purposes Johnny had some more years. Palmer? Ritter? Hines? White? C'mon! None of these men were even 60.

It's scary to me and not because of my heart, believe it or not that doesn't figure into it. It's scary because all them could afford the best health care that money could buy and it didn't help them one bit. Granted, Gregory Hines died from cancer (I'm of the belief there isn't a damn thing medical science can do or wants to do to fight cancer. You have to do it yourself.) and Barry White's problems origingated with diabetes (I suspect he ignored it until it was too late), but an early death is an early death.

It was an extremely sad summer and the fall seems to be falling in line, unfortunately.

2003-09-25T23:30:00.000-04:00

A HodgePodge

Do you want to see Cold Creek Manor? Really? Why? I mean it looks hella stupid. Well, if you are only slightly curious about CCM, why don't you save yourself the money and view this stick figure synopsis.* I wouldn't steer you wrong.

Disco Sauna.** It should be called techno sauna but whatever. Squirrels are evil. They dress up and have parties in your sauna.

*- courtesy of Weirdsmobile
** courtesy of Xoloitzquintle

2003-09-25T14:32:00.000-04:00

Research was done ranking hospitals across the United States. "Researchers ranked each of the country's nearly 5,000 hospitals on 26 common procedures and conditions and found better-performing hospitals tended to be in northern or sparsely populated states.

Here's how the 50 states and District of Columbia fared:

Rank State

1 North Dakota

2 Florida

3 Ohio

4 Michigan

5 Maryland

6 Colorado

7 Pennsylvania

8 Connecticut

9 Utah

10 South Dakota

11 Virginia

12 Minnesota

13 Arizona

14 Montana

15 New Jersey

16 Maine

17 Illinois

18 Rhode Island

19 Washington

20 Indiana

21 Oregon

22 Washington, D.C.

23 New Hampshire

24 Idaho

25 California

26 Massachusetts

27 Missouri

28 Louisiana

29 North Carolina

30 Texas

31 New Mexico

32 Nebraska

33 New York

34 Kentucky

35 Delaware

36 Nevada

37 Georgia

38 Wisconsin

39 Alaska

40 Iowa

41 West Virginia

42 South Carolina

43 Wyoming

44 Hawaii

45 Oklahoma

46 Vermont

47 Kansas

48 Tennessee

49 Arkansas

50 Alabama

51 Mississippi

They also ranked certain common procedures. Go to Health Grades to see how your hospital ranked or your state on particular procedures. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the procedure I would need to correct my tachycardia. I don't know if it has another name. I checked out women's health for PA and am ecstatic that the my preferred hospital, PA Hospital,l ranked #1 in the Philadelphia area. Not bad for the oldest (or one of the oldest) hospitals in the country.

2003-09-25T13:35:00.000-04:00

I'm playing with bg colors. all that white was getting on my damn nerves

******

HaHa! I just read a list of the worse jobs in science and astronaut was listed among fish counter, barnyard masturbator, and stool sample analyzer. lmao Hands up who use to want to be an astronaut? Po' po' Lance. roflmfao

Linky por tu if you want to read the rest of the list. <---yeah that's it

2003-09-25T00:42:00.000-04:00

Feeling Betta

I wrote a little bit. No I didn't put anything in meanderings, but I may. Laughed a lot. Realized that I'm an emotional eater, which is good to know. Concluded that I am drained. I very very tired. Emotionally tired. Physically tired. Even psychically (is that even a word) tired. I feel attacked on all fronts. I almost feel like I've been spelled. Hmm maybe I have been.

Or maybe I just need to get to some water. I just need to sit by a large body of beautiful H2O. I may have to spend the last little bit of money I have and leave the country. I've been here too long. Let me explain that for 5 years straight I went on at least 2 vacations a year. One to another country. I have not been out of the States for 2 years and it's killing me. I would love to go visit friends in Bermuda right now. Though, if I had my druthers, I'd hop a flight for London. There's this bar on this little alley looking street down from one of the churches they used in Four Weddings and a Funeral that I love. It was Cheers-like. The bartender and patrons were friendly and the drinks weren't watered down. I liked that place, even if the old men kept feeling my knee. I didn't say anything. It seemed to mean so much to them. This cutie let me feel his thighs and bought my drinks as long as I let the old dude's squeeze a knee. Plus, Brits think I'm exotic. (Trust me you don't know how funny that is.)

You know I think I need what B2 needs (needed) a vision quest. I gotta get to Nevada this year, even if I ho your grandma, I gotta get there. Susan Seddon Boulet is about as questy as my visions will be for a while.

*******
Haloscan is down again. It's times like these that movable type moves up in my eyes. Then when things go right, it moves right back down again. I need to figure out whats up expanded entries. They don't look like I want them to and well I'm not sure I'm modifying the right template. I think dealing with those damn comments took too much out of me. I guess I'll finish by this time next week. I'm busy this weekend. I'm spending the rest of the week looking at want ads; I've been remis lately. I've a partay scheduled for Saturday and party recovery for Sunday.

2003-09-24T17:14:00.000-04:00

Serenity Now

This has turned into a shit ass day for me. I've allowed myself to become pissed and stressed out over something that I can not control. You know probably not pissed just hurt. Anyway, I need to go lie down or something because my heart is beating a mile a minute. I don't know how slow it was before because it's only 76 bpm, but I can see it jumping through my shirt. This on top of a nightmare I had has really brought to the verge of tears. I dunno. I feel like I've been hit by a sniper's bullet.

I'm going to go meditate. I'll catch y'all later. Renewed and in a much better mood....hopefully.

2003-09-24T14:36:00.000-04:00

Stinky Shoes & Ionno What Else

BJ, Hippies armed and dangerous --->, threatened to track down all her readers and cry on their shoelaces if they didn't sign her guestmap. Now, I'm not much of a cryer, but I can fart. So, don't make me track you down and fart on your feet! You know I'll do it! You saw the end of Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. It can be done. Don't think just because you're in another country that I won't find you. I love travel. I've been through rainforests. So, unless you're in war torn _______ (insert name here), I will find you. A 14 hour flight does not thrill me so any Kiwi or Aussie is pretty much safe, for right now, but don't tempt me! British Airways is having one helluva sale!

Speaking of visitations, rt: Has Taken started yet? That was a good. end rt I checked my referrals and I have learned something new. There are still miners! And they go to school! Who knew! Stop laughing. I'm serious. Alright ye of little faith, check outColorado School of Mines. See? Told ya! I went in a mine in Arizona once. It was spooky, but I like spooky. I had no idea there were still miners and that they had a school. I find that too too interesting. I would've thought they'd be engineers. I really must know what they mine. So, miner if your reading this, drop a line and let me know. Y'all know I get into things so I may be into mining for a little bit. I apologize in advance.

2003-09-24T02:10:00.000-04:00

Decisions, Decisions

I have come to a conclusion. Something rather, well definite. You could say (to paraphrase Xolo) I've narrowed down my choices*. How about you?

*Link pilfered from
Xoloitzquintle

2003-09-23T22:56:00.000-04:00

Code Red, Code Blue, Code Kiss My Beige Ass

I am fucking tired. Man, oh man am I tired. I've been staring at fucking html code since this afternoon and still have stuff to do. It takes entirely too much time to figure this shit out. I'd blame it on being an 80s kid, but that's not it. I'd blame it on being more of the creative right brained type than the linear left brained type, but that's not it either. I'd blame it on my having absofuckinglutely no interest in truly learning this shit, but that's not completely it either. I'd blame it on..uh wait...that is it. That's it in a damn nutshell. Anyone wanna volunteer to finish it, be my bloody guest. I quit until such time that I don't.

You know my problem I approach code the same as I approached stats and finance. I don't seek to understand it, just to remember what goes where, when, and how. The why's were unimportant. Code is stats to me, except I have no incentive to study it. No money paid. No degree earned. No orgasm....uhhhh.....kay wait. Scratch that. Nothing! Nothing in it for me, but a headache (not in that head banging on the bed post sort of way) and a bootyache. (What? You didn't expect me to have something else to say to that did you?)

Now let us discuss the other codes. Code yellow. Code whateva. Look, let me tell you all this. This Homeland Security crap is just that....CRAP! Tom Ridge couldn't find his finger up his own ass if you showed it to him in the mirror. He use to be the Governor of PA and trust me many Pennsylvanians were damned happy to be rid of him. Now, the country has to deal with him and for that I am truly sorry. But hey it's not our fault that Florida's President appointed him. Just realize with Ridge having the ability to steal...uh confiscate....uh get all the funds he wants, the economy will never get better. TR likes drama. TR likes power. TR doesn't give a shit about people. The poorer the better...more people to do his laundry. I'm not a big fan of good ole boy Ridge. Can you tell?

That reminds me of that damn tv show, Threat Matrix. Tha hell kinda shit is that? Hey! We're loosing the masses. They're not behind us anymore. They're complaining about having to get butt naked in airport. Let's put on a tv show that details how many times a day/week/year this country comes close to decimation if it were not for the intrepid men & women of the Save Your Ass America League (SYAAL). Is it me or does Syaal look like a possible Muslim name? Now, that's funny.

2003-09-23T14:04:00.000-04:00

B2 IS THE MAN!!!!!!!

Thanks to B(squared), proprietor of the weirdsmobile, <--linked at right--> my MT page is coming along nicely. I just couldn't deal with it. To tell you the truth I really don't like movable type. I think it's more difficult than necessary and my brain simply refuses to be bothered with it. This is my brain (ah nice and twisty) and this is my brain on MT (stubborn git!). Now I've just gotta figure out the comments cuz they're ugly with a capital UGH. So is the trackback page. I'm not entirely sure why I have a trackback page but hey. There isn't a link that says permalink, but I think they're the same thing.

So, yeah, in a few days my link will change again. I'll just post it here. But do not get surprised if in a few days I say fuck MT! No, really. My brain is bah humbugging. See?

*****
Today is the release date for Outkast's 2 cd set, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below. In my opinion Big Boi's Speakerboxxx is much better than Andre 3000's The Love Below. One is a smooth hip hop groove with danceable and/or mellow beats. The other is a hodgepodge of sounds in an attempt to channel Hendrix, a bit of the 70s, and Prince circa 1984 (or thereabouts). Honestly, you can sing Prince lyrics to no less than 2 of Dre's songs. While listening I would give BB's cd an 'A' and Dre's a 'C', my calcs gave them B+ and B- respectively.

Speakerboxxx
The Love Below

2003-09-22T21:12:00.000-04:00

Man, I'm becoming one of those link crazed bloggers. Apparently, my mind is on E. hahahaha E! E! Get it? E! Oh shut up!

Nnnnnnn Eeeeeeee way, who's gonna have a nice roomy suite in hell with an ocean view? Pamie and Stee for their conversation? Or me for laughing at them.

Here's what will get me in the hot seat:

Stee: I feel bad that 50 can't open his mouth very wide.
Pamie: Well...Yeah.
Stee: He just wants a hug.
Pamie: And to kill you.
Stee: He broke Eminem's Moon Man.
Pamie: Aw.
Stee: He's so humble.
Pamie: Because he's retarded.
Stee: What?
Pamie: What?
Stee: 50 Cent's not retarded.
Pamie: Whatever.
Stee: No, he just can't open his mouth very wide because he got shot so many times. Nine times in his jaw!
Pamie: This song is "Mah-ba-dee-bu-duh. So come give me a hug." That's what retarded kids like. Dancing, hugs.
Stee: That's true. "I like the circus."
Pamie: "Go Shorty, it's your birthday."
Stee: "Go Daddy, it's the kitty. I like the kitty, and it's my birthday!"
Pamie: "I like parties, it's my birthday!"
Stee: "I like ham! And I like pizza! Let's go swimming! Take me to the beach! Take me to the zoo!"
Pamie: "Have you ever seen a cat? I have! I have three."
Stee: "I wanna sit in the front seat, you sit in the back!"
Pamie: "It's time to take my meds, I'd like some more jam."
Stee: "Where's my helmet? I need my helmet."
Pamie: "Give it back, it's mine, it's mine, it's mine!"
Stee: "You wanna bite? You can have a bite. Everyone gets a bite."
Pamie: Do you think our room in Hell will have an ocean view?

2003-09-22T18:56:00.000-04:00

I was at Electric Bugaloo again. There was an article from Nerve.com posted about unsexy things. The list is very amusing. I might disagree with a thing or two, but it still made me giggle.

edit: damnit ta hell wtf is wrong with my font? it won't stay to save my life. I'm gonna get rid of this damn layout sooner than I expected!

2003-09-22T03:02:00.000-04:00

Alright, so I was at Electric Bugaloo minding my own damn business when I happened upon this. Make sure you expand the thumbnail. G'head. I'll wait. *loolly loolly loo. I'm a lumberj..* Oh back? Good. Now, is it me or do her butt cheeks look like too big ass oranges or grapefruit (shit pick a citrus). Look at the texture of the thing. Puts Sunkist in a whole nutha perspective now don't it?

2003-09-21T23:52:00.000-04:00

Seven On Sunday

Posting the lines of songs that begin with or just contain the given word. First the list and then my answers.

1. I'm...
2. If...
3. Sometimes...
4. Did...
5. Tell...
6. And...
7. So...

Got those? I'd answer first, if you intend on participating. If not, read on.

1. I'm a little teapot short and stout here is my handle, here is my spout.

2. If I were your girl, the things I do to you, I'd make you call out my name then ask who it belongs to. "If" by Janet J.

3. *Everybody loves somebody sometimes. ELSS by Dean Martin

4. I Did it. I told you I told you I did. "I Did It" by DMB

5. Tell me something good. Tell me that you liked it yeah. TMSG by Rufus

6. The bright ligts, the people, and the moon and all. "Moon Over Bourbon Street" by Sting

7. He makes me feel so real. "So Gone" by Monica

damn I have song titles but don't know the lines! sometimes was hard cuz i got 'each time ever i saw your face' stuck in my head then 'u gonna make me love somebody else'. i'm justa singing.

**took me almost an hour to think up a song with sometimes

2003-09-21T23:50:00.000-04:00

Alright I have the movable type up, but I'm not using it quite yet. I have to get the code the way I want it. The posts aren't looking the way I want them too. Neither permalinks nor trackback links are showing (they're the whole reason why I had mt added.) I'm not thrilled with the archiving either. I think I should be able to bring over previous posts but I'm not sure. Once I get things set where I like them and am comfortable, I'll post yet another I've moved page. *sigh* I know you tire of me. It's gonna take me awhile to change pages and comments too cuz, well, I'm lazy and I just don't wanna. By the time I'm ready, I'll probably want another layout. Ahh. Change is so good.

I watched the Emmy's. The unbelievably boring Emmy's. All those comedians and very few laughs. I was in the eonline.com chat entertaining myself...not really, but I tried. One day Martin Sheen will prevail. This I avow. I would like to critique Joan Rivers. She rarely looks good with her kitty cat plastic face, and has the never to critique others. Have I ever mentioned how much I disliked Hel-lay? No. Well remind me to recount my stories that made LA the first city I ever vacationed that made me say, "I never need to come back here ever again in life. They will have to pay me to come back, or I will have to be in serious love, or a friend begged me to come visit. Never again will I visit LA." Awful awful city!

So since I have no point to my pointless post, I will stop and go lalala...not the Jay-Z kind of lalala cuz I'm not on drugs, but the go off happy skipping lalala.

2003-09-21T17:43:00.000-04:00

I'm supposed to be dlg movable type. Emphasis on supposed.

2003-09-21T02:16:00.000-04:00

Oh Matazone how I love you so.

First, Mittens and Snowdrop. Then, the Little Goth Girl. Now, this. *snif*

"...and you're sure the President said we're invading 'Tie Rack'?"

What? You don't know of matazone? Then you have not clicked the links I've posted or *hint hint* the little blue cat at the right.

2003-09-21T01:49:00.000-04:00

As Florida Goes, So Does the Nation?

I certainly hope not, but you never know. Like brother, like brother. (Granted, pop's wasn't a catch.) I could not believe those stats.

The Manhattan Institute, a New York-based think tank, released a study saying Florida ranked 50th in the nation when it comes to graduating students after four years in high school."

That's dead last in case your confused.

The Manhattan Institute study found that only 56 percent of Florida high school students graduated in 2001.

Fifty-six percent!!! I wonder if any of those graduates even know how to change 56% to decimal. Of course Florida officials are quick to point out those figures don't include students who earned GEDs. That brings their percent up to 67.9%. Woo Hoo!

Oh, let's not leave out colleges.

"When it comes to governance of its 11 public universities, Florida resembled a banana republic by the end of the 2002-2003 academic year."

And they don't mean the store. Let's go to the dictionary shall we? A Banana Republic is a brutal country of politics, shifting alliances, assasinations, corruption, coups, and revolution. I'd be so happy to have my child in school in Florida right now. As a matter of fact, I think I'll go get pregnant and move tomorrow.

Good thing Jeb Bush is the "education governor," huh?

2003-09-20T22:55:00.000-04:00

WK IN PROGRESS

Alright the posts look crazy. The dates for the older ones are at the bottom of the newer one. Follow that? I'm tired of trying to figure out the code. The problem is that the layout was only designed to show one post and its been a pita to change around. You just don't know...harder than any other layout I've modified. I should've just made my own. I know what I wanted, I'm just lazy.

It really doesn't matter. I forgot that tomorrow I begin my slow learning curve of movable type tomorry. Fuck it's after midnight.....so make that today.

edit: Only showing 1 days worth of post cuz the date thing was irking the shit outta me.

2003-09-19T18:50:00.000-04:00

Wanting a new layout but not wanting to do the only thing I can think of out of respect for the straight fellas.

Cuz I was gon have bucket nekkid mens. chest a glistening. thighs a flexing. dicks a swanging. Alright not that nekkid but yeah me likey chests and thighs. So I'm going thru layouts I like. Wish I never talked J into using Betty. Me and my big mouth!

2003-09-19T03:26:00.000-04:00

Too* for the Price of One

Before I lost the post I speak about in the previous entry, I wrote something else. Tuesday night was a thinking night. I didn't put it in word or notepad. Instead, I made an htm page. I wasn't sure if I would put it in A Wandering Mind (hint: there's a link to the right), cut 'n paste, or just link it. I wasn't sure it would see the light of day to be honest.

I just read it and have decided to share. I can see where I stopped thoughts from flowing that would have supported the title more, though I doubt you will. So, if you want to know what was on my mind on Tuesday other than my mortality (see below), you can read Biggest Bitch, too.

*Yes, I know it's the wrong spelling. sheesh!

2003-09-19T02:50:00.000-04:00

I'll take some round bacon, eh

I haven't posted much basically because I was still smarting from loosing that post. I'd lost entries before but the loss of this one was much more troubling. I knew I'd never be able to recreate it. Over the the past week or so I had been coming to grips with my mortality and that is what the post was about. My thoughts and feelings and quite possibly my fears.

As many of you know I have a tachycardia (psvt to be exact nursey pooh) or rapid heart beat. As all of you should know I am unemployed; therefore, I haven't any health insurance. All summer I'd been waiting for a program run through Blue Cross/Shield called Adult Basic to open. The state hasn't released funding, so they have not accepted any people. Typically, I've never worried about my problem. I never even took my meds the way I should because a) I hate taking pills and b) I forgot. (No, really I did. I forget vitamins.) Now, even if I wanted to take them, I can't afford them.

The cure all would be to allow a cardiologist to "zap (medical slang does confuse me so and yes he said zap) that part of the muscle that isn't working properly." How would do they do this? By sticking electrodes in my chest. Apparently, this is a "simple procedure" done quite frequently on an outpatient basis. I heard 'blah blah electrocute your heart blah blah burn a piece blah blah you die'. That doesn't even matter though because I can't go to a cardiologist without dollars.

In one day 2 people told me they were worried about me. I wasn't thrilled about it because I'd been a bit worried about me too. One dreamt about me. I definitely wasn't thrilled about that. Out of the blue someone else tells me she had a dream she ran into me and we were talking. I was very tranquil, calm, and a few other adjectives that had me thinking 'oh my damn, I'm gonna die!' It didn't help that John Ritter died of an undiagnosed heart ailment in the same damn week. In some bad acid trippy reality my heart could go hyper space and I may not wake up or I may not be able to get to the emergency room, but I refuse to think that will happen. Unfortunately, I believe something will. For some odd reason the change in seasons brings an "attack" and I don't know why.

I haven't been eating healthy, not like I use to, but I probably eat healthier than most of you reading this. I can't afford all the fruit and veggies to which I'd grown accustomed. Hell, organic food is unbelievably expensive. I need to say I can't afford shit! I had been wondering why I felt blah and I realized it was because I haven't had the veggies I'm use to and not because I'm about to drop dead tomorrow. (You know that grocery store workers don't get discounts? That is shitty! I always talk to the employees before I apply for a job.) **I just took my pulse. My heart is beating slower than it has been in days. It's 76bpm as opposed to 80-82. ** I also haven't exercised since July out of fear that my heart will beat too fast. That has me also feeling blah.

Above is pretty much what the post was about. It was a lot more thought out and detailed. It was more personal. I just don't have it in me to type anything like that again. However, what I have typed reminded me that if Congress hadn't been so against the Clintons everyone in this country would have some type of medical insurance. Then again, if I were Canadian I'd have it. Shit, I'd be able to download all that I wanted, too...like I don't. Hmmm, Montreal wasn't that bad.

2003-09-18T20:31:00.000-04:00

Canadians Solved P2P Issues 5 years ago.

In a nutshell:

Five years ago this seemed like a pretty good deal for the music industry: $0.77 CDN for a blank CD and .29 a blank tape, whether used for recording music or not. Found money for the music moguls who had been pretty disturbed that some of their product was being burned onto CDs. To date over 70 million dollars has been collected through the levy and there is a good possibility the levy will be raised and extended to MP3 players, flash memory cards and recordable DVDs sometime in 2003.

Simple huh?

*Thanks Jane*

2003-09-18T19:43:00.000-04:00

A post from Hippies Armed & Dangerous:

Help Save homeless sluts. Adopt a slut today. They make loving pets and are well trained to be obediant. Sorry it was a spam I got Help save homeless sluts

I don't know about the rest of you but I will never adopt another one of them sluts! They bite the hand that feeds them, then they turn around and fuck your man! Ohhhh nooooo not again! Fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice and I'll kill you and claim temporary insanity.

2003-09-18T19:24:00.000-04:00

Alright, I am begining to border on the stupid. I went a blog reading today and saw a link that made me go hmmmm. Guess where it took me? HERE! How fucking simple minded is that? Don't answer. Not until I tell you that I had done the same exact thing 2 blogs before. Yes. Yes, my friends. I AM the driver of the short yellow bus. I have a fleet of dem sommabishes. All Aaaaabooooooard! *meep meep*

2003-09-17T23:51:00.000-04:00

I was so upset last night that I went to bed early. I didn't stay down any longer than an hour. I got up and started to uh.....listen *wink wink* to music. Todays, review is of John Mayer's Heavier Things.

I thought this cd was fantastic from start to finish. John is a great lyricists. He's a poet, a trubadour for his generation. Admittedly, I didn't like him when I first heard him 2 years ago, though I did love his words. "Your Body's a Wonderland" is just...uh a gorgeous song. I couldn't figure out why I didn't like him, now I'm trying to figure out how I couldn't like him. You need to listen to this cd. It's very good. I gave it an 'A' when I was listening and fortunately the calculations held that up.

For a song by song review, click here

2003-09-17T17:56:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite places on earth (if not my favorite) with an adorable doggie (chow chow by the looks of him). Click him for full photo.

Nudog at the Canyon

2003-09-16T22:27:00.000-04:00

I just spent almost 2 hours typing something very personal, very important, and blogger fucking lost it! The whole thing is just gone! There's no way in hell I can retype that. I am almost ready to cry. It seems as if everytime I have something very important to me I want to say, blogger bends me over and fucks me without k-y.

I'm so upset. You have no idea. I wrote something earlier that was very serious but I made an htm page out of it. It took me 4 days to decide to type what I lost. I'm not clear on what I want to do with it.

I am so pissed right now!

2003-09-15T21:48:00.000-04:00

There are some blogs that I visit that get bombarded by trolls, asshats that come to their blogs or send them emails just to cause up trouble and make themselves feel superior in that oh look at me I'm a complete idiot kinda way. Most people know I'm a fan of free speech and I believe everyone has the right to their own opinions. With that said I want you all know the following about me:

That is all.

2003-09-15T20:52:00.000-04:00

Who Said All of Nature Was Beautiful?

The dopiest looking Moose ever! This moose looks like the Rudolph of all moose. The thing has the face of a horse and the body of a mule. I take back my Rudolph comment. It's the donkey of all moose. "Ears Nester." I will be so overly proud of anyone who can place that quote from memory and not a google search.

2003-09-15T17:32:00.000-04:00

Links courtesy of Scotto's the pod's journal

WARNING: Do Not Go To passthison.com

Read the article to find out why

******
Sex X-rays

I'm still not 100% about that last one

******

2003-09-15T03:10:00.000-04:00

I hope the good one's aren't all taken. Xolo's post dated the 14th about his special night with his wife is a definite *dreamy sigh* read.

2003-09-15T02:58:00.000-04:00

I meant to post this a few days ago when I saw it on the pod's journal, but I forgot. Justin just reminded me. (BTW, show Justin some love. He's being attacked by spicket babies (cricket like spiders or spider like crickets....ionno they're his babies).

Just read the paragraph below.

"Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."

How do you lkie tehm aplpes?

2003-09-14T23:45:00.000-04:00

I just want everyone to know MARY IS FORCING ME TO LEARN MT (or possibly PMachines) so I can have permalinks and such to make her life....yes her life easier. That is all.

***** I8 not quite*****

I'm guessing somewhere J, My World According to Me, and BJ of VermilionX are somewhere in their abodes doing little happy dances. I hope it rains on them. Noooo, not really. *wink wink*

So, let's recap. I registered the defunct Enigma's Conundrum at netfirms by accident cuz I was just looking for net storage. J took that as an opportunity to set up a blog for me and actually posted thus forcing my hand. (Yes, the title is her idea. I just liked it.) Now, I got the beer meister threatening to open accounts and jump start my learning curve. *le sigh* Well, you know I'm a lazy procrastinator who needs a kick in the pants every now and then, but I'll be damned if my ass doesn't hurt.

Hey how bout you guys put that energy into finding me a dream job?

2003-09-14T16:04:00.000-04:00

Yet another example of how much the press are disgusting creatures that need to be extinct! The real article title is purposefully misleading! (hint: click the link)

Sister of Venus & Serena shot to death

2003-09-14T00:09:00.000-04:00

I do these all the time. I like the graphic. It's apropo.

Water Goddess. You like peace and serenity and are
usually content with life.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-09-13T16:10:00.000-04:00

Email

I was surprised on 9/12 when I went to Rant-o-Rama* and found my post from 9/10. Mary liked what I said and decided to share. Honestly, I was shocked as shit, and I commented to such. She responded via email saying she liked what I said. I vented a little in an email and she told me I should post it. I thought "nah" then "why not". So this will be the last time (and technically the first time), I enter any of my thoughts or feelings regarding 9/11/01. (Yeah it's 2 days later. Bite me!)

It just seems to me that so many people believe you can actually forget. How in hades can anyone forget? You don't need to comment or talk about something to remember it. There's no one in this country that was
alive when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor that has forgotten. They may not want to talk about it (my parents didn't), but they sure as shit haven't forgotten. And no amount of talking they do will make it real for those of
us who weren't there. Just as, I feel, no amount of talking we do a year from now, 10 years from now, 30 years from now, will make it real for those who weren't there. I won't forget, hell I can't, but I refuse to be held
captive, feel sad, broken, and helpless every 9/11. If I do that, if I let terror in, don't the terrorists win? And I hate loosing.

Plus, its times like these that my hatred for what passes for journalistic integrity shows. They claim they're telling the news, when in actuallity they're attempting to sell more air time/newspapers by capitalizing off the grief and fear of a people. The press are vultures that will circle anything breathing and pick at any carcass. I said that because so many bloggers fancy themselves reporters. Why they don't aspire to be something higher on the food chain like lawyers I don't know.

Welp, there ya go. That's it. I'm done. NEXT!

*Rant-o-Rama is a members only blog. You can register to join, but memebership is at Mary's discretion. Ah ha!

2003-09-13T01:05:00.000-04:00

Brits Are Such Freaks

You guys know my fascination with the Skin 2 Rubber Ball being held in London right?

Well, I was sitting here clicking through the links on Social Reject when I came across the information of yet another sex ball being held in London called Sex Maniac's Pastoral Ball, which is being combined with the 10th Annual Erotic Awards. It's even wheelchair accessible for the handicapped freak. "Timmy!"

Are the British not finding time to screw in their oh so busy lives that they need to come together in one place to do so? Seriously, why are all these sex balls in London? Is London the Mecca of Freakdom? I would've bet money on NYC having that title. Heck, I've been to London. I missed all that. Maybe Brits are undercover freaks. I dunno. I just know me and my voyeuristic ass wishes I was across the street from these 2 places with super zoom binoculars when the show goes down.

Hey would you do me a favor? If you're not too busy on the 20th of September and can get to or are located in London, would you zip on down to the Sex Maniac's Ball and take some pictures for me? If September isn't a go, how about October 3-6th for the Skin2Rubber Ball? Inquiring minds need visual aids. Ta!

Oh and if you're wondering about the awards, here's a description of one nominee: "He is no Adonis, but then he does not need to be, as he is very good at sex, has a very beautiful cock..." *Clutch the pearls!* Dude has a site advertising his..uh..business. (Now, I know the next time I travel alone, I can use the net and check out a pro ho.) I just peeped his member. It ain't all that beautiful. Then again, don't take my word for it, I'm not a supporter of the pretty peni theory. I think they're all rather unattractive, some much uglier than others, but unattractive nonetheless.

Damnit! I'm gonna be up for a while exploring again. Every Friday Jane gets me in trouble. Note to self: Stay the hell off Social Reject on Fridays!

2003-09-12T23:51:00.000-04:00

Women to Avoid Dating <--It's a link

This article caught my attention for 2 reasons. I wanted to know if I were one of those women. I figured I must be since I am terminally dateless. I discovered that I either (a) don't know myself or (b) am not one of those women. I'll go with option b. It is quite possible that my "type" has yet to be identified, which thrills me greatly because I pride myself on being the eccentric, eclectic, individual nutball that I am. It's not easy being green.

So, where is the article to teach people that we can't all be classified like movies in a home theatre collection. You can not break us up and put him in horror, her in drama, etc. People are too multi-layered for that at least I hope we are. It may be that I am overestimating the human element, but my god I hope not.

The 2nd thing is that I have never seen an article telling women what men to avoid dating. Why is it that there are always articles warning men of dastardly female types, but nothing to aid the ladies? Where are the articles on why you don't want to date Prince Charming? Or how to spot the drama king, the mama's boy, etc. Why is it that women are always to blame in the downfall of any relationship? She was too emotional, too needy. She didn't cook. She didn't suck my dick enough. (Mutha fukka please.) Is everything is this world skewed to make the male blameless?

I am so very tired of reading finger pointing. Guys, not every woman on the planet is a bitch, stares at herself in every reflective surface, hates sports (and those that like sports are not necessarily lesbians), not every conversation will revolve around her hair, her job, her orgasm (or lack thereof), etc etc etc. Conversely, you guys have got to stop saying you want a woman with substance, but only approach feather heads. You're not going to easily find Janeane Garafalo's wit and intelligence in Pam Anderson body. Sorry. You're just not. Most women aren't going to ask you "Do I look fat in this?" because we already know we do. As a matter of fact, I do not know one woman, and I come from a female dominated family, that has ever asked a man that question. You want a woman to listen to you, how about listening to her? You want food? Cook it sometimes. Bring it home. We like neck rubs and massages too you know.

Alright, I strayed a little bit. What I'm saying is this...WE'RE FUCKED UP! That's it in a nutshell. We, society in general, are just all fucked up. Too many women are looking for their prince. Some of the one's that aren't are trying to be some image they've seen in videos and movies. Too many men are looking for these dumb bunnies and become quickly bored because they're holding conversations with themselves so they seek out the women they should've sought in the first place only to find that she won't have an affair with a married man. This, however, gives men the perfect excuse to go fuck an even dumber bunny. It's all just too...too pathetic for words. Relationships are going extinct.

The above is what happens when random thoughts fuse together in my brain to form coagulated bullshit.

2003-09-12T19:26:00.000-04:00

OMG OMG

Bennifer called off their wedding. Whatever shall I do? I hope everything is alright with them. They said Ben got cold feet, but now they're saying Jennifer's psychic told her to do it. OMG!!! Guess what?

I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!

Leave us the fuck alone gatdamnit! Stay the hell off my television. Get the fuck off my homepage! Why for the love of God are you on the news? Bennifer, do you know what you can do for me? You can kiss my beige ass!
Oh and smooches. Best wishes for your future.

2003-09-12T14:47:00.000-04:00

I am in complete shock. The news of John Ritter's death as a friend said "...hurt my heart."

I grew up laughing at this man. I'll miss him.

John Ritter

17 September 1948 - 11 September 2003

I wasn't very shocked over this, but yet another legend is gone.

Johnny Cash

26 February 1932 - 12 September 2003

2003-09-12T01:28:00.000-04:00

Thanks to BJ @ Hippies Armed & Dangerous for the link

Bob The Angry Flower's Quick Guide to It's and Its.

2003-09-11T16:29:00.000-04:00

Random Shit Day

added 7:15p:

Holy That's Some Messed Up Shit Batman

tha hell? Christian Bale is the next Batman. The movie is going to be directed by the guy who did Memento. Sweet Mary!!!

Actually, considering the actors in the running, Jake Gyllenhal (love him but nah) and Josh Jackson (get real!), Bale may have been the best choice, but still! Couldn't they leave well enough alone?

******
added ~5p:
from Popbitch...

Who is Agent Provocateuse?

The world's most elite escort agency may be Boutique Escorts. An ultra-exclusive
international organisation with only 12 girls, Boutique charges $6,000 just to get on the subscription list, and only takes on a client after thorough background and financial checks. Only the richest businessmen and celebrities are accepted.

Among the 12 super-hookers is a top Hollywood actress, who charges over a million pounds for her services; a supermodel (who goes for a bargain 50k) and Britain's most expensive female escort, known only as Agent Provocateuse, who is rumoured to make $1.5m per day. A European actress, now married to a famous film star,
used to be on their books too. -end bit-

Hmm, I wonder if they get holiday pay and benefits?

********
Dictionary for arguing with women

2003-09-11T15:31:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite jokes:

What do pizza delivery guys and gynecologists have in common?

Highlight for answer: They can both smell it, but they can't taste it.

2003-09-10T23:15:00.000-04:00

CX1271333-A

How the hell are ya? Nice to know you've been coming 'round. I just was wonderin' something.....Who are you?

2003-09-10T22:45:00.000-04:00

This is what I'm not gonna do tomorrow...

Type my feelings, remarks, remeberances of 9/11/01 enuf people will

Link to anyone else's remeberances

Allow myself to feel sad or depressed

Be afraid of what I can not change

Go to anyone elses blog, journal, diary tomorrow
- I knew people who worked in those buildings
- I really don't care how other people feel

Apologize for not wanting to be weighed down by other peoples emotions

What I will do tomorrow.....

Type whatever comes to mind serious, silly, angry

Be thankful that my niece didn't get up to go to class that morning

Wonder how S is coping without her husband

Write something

Not Give a damn about what anyone thinks about what I just typed

2003-09-10T13:41:00.000-04:00

Alright, I think I've been strengthened by my homepage. Comcast, my isp, is #1 in allowing the RIAA access to their users. I know. I know. Don't be jealous. Anyway, they have some article or video news daily about the law suits. Today, I was greeted with the news that the 12 year old girl, yes they sued a child, settled with an offer to pay $2,000. Plus, one of the news snippets was about how file sharers are to blame for the 31% drop in cd sales over the past year or so. I guess the shit ass sound alike cookie cutter music hasn't a damn thing to do with it huh?

Welp, that's it! No weakness for me. That's over!

2003-09-10T00:02:00.000-04:00

Calling All CD Purchase Boycotters

I'm Weakening. I'm weakening big time. I'd been waiting for Chariot by Gavin DeGraw for months. It's finally out. The first artist I checked on that RIAA affiliate search engine (RIAA Radar) was Gavin. I reeeeeally want this cd. I haven't bought one since March I think. I starting to feel itchy. I need help. I need internet slaps and bolsterment. HEEEEEEEELP! Or I'm gonna have this sucka by weeks end!

2003-09-09T19:41:00.000-04:00

A favor for Dave

My friend, Dave, lives in Adelaide, Australia and posted a request on the Short Yellow Bus forum asking the members to sign a petition to bring Chri.sti.na A.gui.ler.a to his city. While he's no big Xtina fan, he hopes that if she comes other big concerts will follow suit and stop behaving as if Sydney is the only big city in Australia. (My words not his.) He's the only person I know that should carry air miles for concert travel.

So, if you would please, go here, click on the Christina banner on the front page, and sign the petition. They ask for a phone number but that is unnecessary.

Cheers!

2003-09-09T14:43:00.000-04:00

Forbidden Love

Alright this is too cute. You'll need wmp. Link found on Social Reject

2003-09-09T01:52:00.000-04:00

This is fucking ridiculous!

Wham-O!, makers of the slip-n-slide, are suing the makers of Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star and are requesting that courts remove it from the theatres. I'm guessing this is a marketing ploy to sell more summer water wasters.

2003-09-09T00:42:00.000-04:00

this didn't even make me feel better. i'm in a mood.

2003-09-08T22:58:00.000-04:00

My temper is short. Things that would just get an eye roll from me are irking the shit out of me Simple stupidity which I ignore is making me wanna snap a neck. I need to stay off of other people's blogs when I feel like this. I just read something in someone else's comments that irked my soul because to me it's stupid. It took all I had to leave that site without commenting. It really did.

Anyway, that's all I've got sorry. I thought about blogging earlier but I didn't feel like it and now ugh...bye.

edit:

re-up of one of my favorite animations. Mary this is for you babe. Stay with it you'll see why. LGG

2003-09-07T21:14:00.000-04:00

I JUST SAW BLAIR UNDERWOOD'S ASS! YEEEEEEEEAH BAYBAY!!!!!!!

I've been lusting after that ass and those thighs since the early to mid-80s! Dreams can come true. It can happen to you. If you're young at heart.

2003-09-07T19:55:00.000-04:00

Desparately Seeking to Fuck Up Enigma

Yo! Asshole! Yeah you. You sitting there trying desparately to put a virus on my system. I don't open mailer daemon or mail system emails so try again! You fucking assholish butt sniffing chicken clit licking mother biting asstard!

A few weeks ago I got a nice home made virus sent to me courtesy of somebody using a computer terminal in a tech school in NYC (yeah I know where your are). Today, I had 12 emails. Only 1 was real. I deleted the other 11 w/o opening because they were obviously fake. Now, it is quite possible they weren't sent by the same asshat but who knows. So to be on the safe side, if you receive returned mail you never sent or from a site you don't know just delete it.

Well, asstard ball's in your court. Or should I say pussy cuz you damn sure don't have any balls.

2003-09-07T18:57:00.000-04:00

I'm tired and my back hurts and not in the fun push push in the bush sorta way either. Therefore, I'm recycling things. Below you'll find one of my favorite posts from the 14th of March 2002. Enjoy....or not. It's up to u.

******edited for length******
Man, I'm gonna hafta get a p/t gig if I can find one. (Isn't quite easy at this time.) Lawd help me. I may have to go into retail.....awww heyll no what am I saying? That is not gonna happen. I may just take pictures of my breast and start up tatalicious.com or bigtitties4U.com. Make it a pay site. Make these 2 big albatrosses on my chest earn their keep. They've been leaching off of me quite long enough!

I wish my mom hadda been one of those 'nah honey chile you know you gotta get a rich man.' Instead, she was a 'fuck 'em! I'll do it myself' type of dame. Goddamn independence! Who needs it? I WANT A SUGAR DADDY! He doesn't even have to be that sweet. He can be a sweet'n low daddy. Equal even. Sucrose Daddy. Shit I don't care. He works. I stay home. I can cook. I can hire a maid and make sure she cleans. "Alice! The windows hon. The windows." I'd do the parttime volunteer thing too. Have my little charities and what not. Ahhhh. Yeah boy! That's the life.

But nooooooo. Men find me intimidating. 'Dang Cleophus, dis girl be smart and purdy.' Gatdamnit! I gotta move. I'm tired of Philadelphia any damn way. Oops! I just told y'all where I was...I'll be editing the section on me in a few days. Oh well. Where was I? Yeah, I gotta move (that needed repeating). I wanna go to Wyoming. I dunno if there are any brothers in Wyoming, but hell I don't even care anymore. My grandmom was a Cherokee. My granddad was Tuscarora, Crow and Blackfoot. My peoples up there some damn where. I'll find them! Shit, gimme a 'white' guy if he looks like JT or GC (go to the watchin men's section). I'm relaxing my 'no pink dick' (yeah I said it) rule. Brothers are getting on my nerves! Damn scarey assholes.

Alright, let me explain the whole P.D. thing quickly. I was a teen and very proud to say a virgin. I was on the bus. The bus stopped. I looked out the window and there was the guy from a newsstand standing there peeing. When he stopped he just let it hang there. I was horrified. It was the ugliest damn thing I'd ever seen. Bright bright...man I'm talking neon 80s bright...pink. Mary Kay ain't got this shade of pink. I mean P~I~N~K~ pink! It had tuffs of black hair. Man his schlong was groodie. Ever since then, I've had a policy, 'No Pink Dick.' Mind you that wasn't the first time I'd seen a white guys piece (thats a whoooole nutha story) nor the last (yet again a nutha story...question...Why do white guys like to show complete strangers their penis'? If you know, please comment and tell me.), but it's the one that unfortunately made a lasting impression. Boy, that's the first time I've ever told anyone that. Thanks for listening.

Alright, I've been babbling like a..a....a....a chick who babbles. So, I'm out.

Peace & Blessings my lovelies (wtf ..... ok I need rest). I'm out!

2003-09-05T22:39:00.000-04:00

I have a little net vice called Ass Clowns. Sometimes it makes me happy

A little advice from the Ass Clowns:

Friday, Sept. 05, 2003 - Fucking masterbating perverts
From Ren: why does kenny always die? was he bad?

Assclowns say: Kenny dies because you touch your who-who-dilly at night.

2003-09-05T22:03:00.000-04:00

Chicago murder capital of the United States. In 2002 they had 666 (hmm how telling) murders, 20 more than 2001. There have been 384 murders from Jan. 1 to Aug. 22 this year.

Top 10 Murder Cities

1. Chicago - 666
2. New York - 660
3. Los Angeles - 588
4. Detroit - 395
5. Philadelphia - 309
6. Houston - 267
7. Baltimore - 256
8. Dallas - 240
9. Washington - 231
10. New Orleans - 213

The Uniform Crime Report for 2002 shows the number of reported crimes (i.e. rape, arson, murder) per city alphabetically. The city list begins on page two. Philly got a 0 in arson. Yea? And wtf is forcible rape? Is not all rape forcible? Are they saying date rape or people who have been drugged aren't raped? Confusion party of 1!

2003-09-04T23:02:00.000-04:00

I just found out that my comments do not work with Netscape/Mozilla browsers. I'd never used Netscape on my site before today. I'm sorry for any of you who have experienced difficulty. Because I'v had so much difficulty with comments I'm not willing to switch up on one program that is actually working at least not yet.

I did go to movable type and downloaded it. I need po' po' Shelby in order to add it because I don't know where perl is and hush is her domain. I'm just one of 2 tenants because netfirms is bogus. That banner is a p.i.t.a! Though, I may need that damn pita cuz of the space they provide.