unraveling the enigma...sorta
Michael Jackson Theories Revisited
Ten to 12 years ago they, my friends, laughed at my theory. They scauffed. They poo-pooed me. They called me crazy, not right, and just plain ignorant. However I stand by this assessment. In the early 90s/late 80s Mi.cha.el Ja.cks.on wanted to look like a character from what was/is quite probably one of his (and mine) favorite children's movies. I present the evidence.
Yes, I tell you Mi.cha.el wanted to look like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Again in 2000 there were cackles, shaking of heads, turning up of noses, sneers, and the poo-pooing of ideas. Again I hold by my convictions. I present the evidence.
Sing it with me: "Abu dorey. Abu dorey."
That is not the Michael Whovian picture I wanted, but quite frankly I tired greatly of looking at pictures of Michael Jackson so that one will have to do. There are other characters and people that he has turned into over the years all in the attempt to, in my opinion, become Peter Pan. The women/woman who gave this man her child(ren) should be prosecuted and persecuted. Yes I said give HER child because there is no damn way a man who, underneath it all, looks like this
can have a child (or 3) that look like this 
not even with a woman that looks like this 
(sorry about the tit pic, but it's all I could find of her..least it's small). Genetics people genetics. Ain't enough recessive genes in the world for that shit.
PhillyKat at 10:46:00 PM |
I usually answer these on a forum but I really liked the topic. Plus, the only other topic I have in mind is one chock full of bitchy venom and I just don't feel like it now. So, let's make lists. Who doesn't like lists? SHUT UP!
Seven talented celebrities, be they actors, musicians, whatever, who you think are immensely underrated/unappreciated:
1) Alan Cumming, actor, author, screenplay writer ~
2) Bob Schneider, singer/musician ~
3) Marilyn Monroe, actress*
4) Justin Timberlake, song writer**
5) soap opera actors+
6) Brad Pitt, actor++
7) Tim Roth, actor ~
* She truly wasn't a bad actress. She was good, too good in fact. She managed to type cast herself, though she fought hard to change it. Most people pay no attention to her performances in movies like Niagra or Don't Bother to Knock.
**Justin is a damn fine song writer for a 22 year old. That's where I believe he's underappreciated. He's been writing lyrically solid, musically sound songs since he was a teenager, but all people talk about is his love life. Maybe he should set about the task of finding a real woman and not a pretty hollywood princess to be taken seriously.
+ These people learn pages of script daily (sometimes minutes before filming), most act their asses off, and some work at night on broadway, but the industry looks down on them for some reason. There are soap actors like Roger Howarth that can act rings around any lead actor out today, but he's on a soap so...
++ I laughed when I thought of Brad because he's the most successful person on my list. I feel his acting ability is underappreciated by Hollyweird and fans alike. Brad's one of the best actors out today. He's a great character actor, but Hollyweird just wants to make him mr. pretty boy. Do they even watch his movies? If they can acclaim Julia Roberts acting because she played a whore with a heart of gold and give her an Oscar for playing a tack head with a heart of gold, why the hell can't they appreciate a damn fine actor who happens to be attractive? I just don't get it.
~If you don't know who they are, go check them out. They're worth it. Recommendations: rent Circle of Friends, The Anniversary Party [Alan]; rent Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, 4 Rooms [Tim]; download "Better," "Under My Skin," "Madeline" or buy Lonelyland [Bob]. (Link for Bob in my listenin' section)
PhillyKat at 3:13:00 PM | 2 Reviews
It's been a long time since I did a cd review so I've done 2 just for you. (Sorry I just couldn't stop.)
The first review is of Kish Kash by Ba.sem.ent J.ax.x. Overall, I was disappointed. It started off great and thanks to Me'shell NdegeOcello ended just as great. The middle however is not great. If I wanted to hear 80s punk combined with euro electronica (Dieter's dance party), I'd listen to it willingly. I don't know what the hell was going on in a couple songs or even why they're on the cd. Upon listening I would give Ki.sh Ka.sh a C, but the calcs came up with a D. Click the link for the song by song review.
The second revie is of Clo.nes by the Ne.pt.unes. Actually, that should be by various artists because Clo.nes is a compilation cd. I was disappointed in this as well. I expected well produced songs with driven beats, either fast or slow. What I got was monotonous mellowness laced with a few up beats here and there. In each song I kept thinking "something is missing. What was wrong with Chad?" Granted they needed to change up a bit, but they didn't need to get boring on me. When you're lulled into thining this is just a rap (I won't even call it hip hop) cd, boom!, psychdelic rock beckoning the 60s (well wanting to anyway) starts playing. I waited almost the entire length of the cd to get to the best song. "Popular Thug" by Nas and Kelis is really good and not because it's the last, but because it's good. Again, click the link for the song by song review to read why I gave it a 'D'.
My recommendation for anyone looking for a good hip hop cd w/various artists would be to go buy the Bad Boys 2 soundtrack. Some songs are recycled, but they're good songs (for the most part) and it flows nicely
PhillyKat at 7:20:00 PM |
TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE FIRST . .. .
SO, WHAT DID YOU SEE ?
Research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such scenario. What they will see are the nine dolphins.
Additional note: This is a test to determine if you already have a corrupted mind. If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupted.
PhillyKat at 4:39:00 PM | I Couldn't Keep On Topic If You Glued Me
I was going to talk about how I think the only way I'll ever get some hands laid on me is to pay for them or go to some holy rolly church for a healing. Put as I thought about it I started singing one of my favorite songs (ever) by my favorite group from the 70s, Heatwave. Some of you may only know them from disco hits like "Boogie Nights" and "Groove Line," or from the wedding staple, "Always & Forever," but those 3 songs don't even make it into my top 5 (alright maybe 2 of them but not all 3). The song I was singing was "Lay It On Me" from their first lp, Too Hot to Handle. Yeah I used lp. There weren't any cds and I didn't feel like using album so stop snickering and kiss my beige booty. I have it on cd though, cuz everytime I stole my sister's lp she stole it back. Bitch!
I can't stop singing it now. Lay it on me. Lay your sweetness on me. Lay it on me (hold me tight). I need ya lady. Here's the thing, if I play it, I will undoubtedly play every Heatwave song I love followed by those I like. Then, a song by some other artist from the era (or not) will pop into my head and I will have a concert going on to rival Live Aid. I've things to do tomorrow. I can't be staying up all night singing to myself and chair dancing with wild abandon until I am hot and sweaty like I just fucked the ever loving mercy out of Ju.st.in Ti.mber.la.ke (I would so break his little ass), Bo.ri.s Ko.dj.oe, and Ge.or.ge Cl.oon.ey. (Wha? Who's Bo.ri.s? This is.) Woo..... You wouldn't know this, but I just had me a major little fantasy going on. I digress. My point *shivers sorry that was left over* My point is I can't be up all damn night. Hey! It's gone.
Shit, that "Hey!" reminded me of the exclamation Grammar Rock song. You know some bitch dun stole my Science and American History Rock tapes. Damn bastards. I need to go through my database, which I haven't updated in I don't know when, to see what else is missing. I found out in the rudest way that my limited edition Snow White was gone. I almost cried. I am so wanting to wish death on whateva bastard stole my shit, but that's not right. I just ask for retribution... for a swift and mighty karmic pounding. I wonder if they're out on dvd? Not going to check cuz I don't have money for unnecessary (Mother Necessity where would we be without the inventions of your progeny?) purchases. (Lolly! Lolly! Lolly Get your adverbs here! Father son and Lolly. Get your adverbs here!)
Ugh! I need a massage. Fuck now I got P. Shiddy all up in mah head. "..a little massage. type shit you get when you head nigga in charge." My mind is behaving like a radio that keeps skipping stations. Wait! My ears are twitching...ah the humidity has gone up and the dow is down. Speaking of weather... (I am going to get myself a crown and dub myself Segue Queen) how is it that Philadelphia is experiencing warmer weather than a city in Nevada? Are you still gonna tell me that the government and their minions at NASA using technology developed by drooling pocket protector loving MIT graduates to fuck with the atmosphere? H.A.R.P. is being cranked up. Has anyone seen the airplanes in the sky seeding clouds or emiting "fog"? Absolute clear sky in front of them and smog after them coming out of something in their craft. They pipe it out in a basketweave pattern. And viola! A haze that turns your city (or at least Philadelphia) into a giant greenhouse! Ain't we lucky?
Fuck! It's back. *sigh* I'm pulling the cd out now.
**no friday 5 cuz i thought it was stupid and it irritated me. mouf is here now and i am now in a foul mood.**
PhillyKat at 11:49:00 PM |
Making fiiiends
Vendetta's always making fiiiiends
Making fiiends
While Charlotte makes friends
Just click it.
Muffin?
Another pup named Muffin. And quite possibly a bunny's fantasy.
PhillyKat at 2:17:00 AM | I guess Ma.do.nna (Ma) was passing the torch or should I say mic to the next generation of video divas/press whores represented by Xti.na A.gui.lera (X), Mi.s.sy E.lli.ot (ME), and Br.itn.ey Spe.ars (BS). In case you are sitting there wondering wth I'm talking about, the VMAs were on today. They did a 2 groom, 2 bride thing singing "Like a Virgin" (I've always had an extreme dislike for this song) and "Hollywood" with Missy's "Work It" mixed in. It was interesting to say the least. I think people will be nice and shocked about Ma kissing BS and X. We didn't get to see the X kiss because they cut to Ju.st.in as Ma and BS (those are really good initials for her don't you think?) kissed for his reaction. He didn't look very thrilled. Get over it boy! BS was a little opened mouthed, too. After the show Snoop Dog said he's be ready to join them and 'set it off' right. Lawd help me! The mental image has burned the corneas of my mind.
Compared to performances of VMAs past I thought the performances pretty much sucked. X was good cuz well....SHE DIDN'T LIP SYNC and R.ed.ma.n & D.av.e Na.var.ro joined her on stage. If you like seeing asses wiggling then Bouncy had a plethora of booty's shakin' on stage with her. I guess Go.od Char.lo.tte was good. They were full of energy at least. I thought I was going to get to see D2 (that should be D squared) perform. They were surprised with a lifetime achievement in video award. IMO they should've received the first one. Video's truly wouldn't be big budget mini movies if it weren't for them. I would prefer to watch an old D2 video (and I can cuz I have a tape....shut up!) than most of this new shit. Vids from the 80s man.... they had imagination.... even the cheesy ones by Missing Person's (geez Terri (?) Bozio and the boys), Devo, the Tubes...ahhh. Maybe MTV should give me a video show called 80s Style. Throw up some INXS with Clarke Kent and a little bit of the Jackson clan with a smidge of Soulsonic Force. Shiiiiiit! I'd make 80's kids pee their pants in glee.
Now, why is it I just prattled on about 80s vids, but I have a 70s song in my head? "Walking through the park and reminiscinnnnng". Alright, I must go play the Little River Band now. Damnit! That's gonna lead me into all kinds of songs. I'm gonna be up late. I just know it.
PhillyKat at 11:59:00 PM | Wanna know if the cd you want was released by an RIAA member? Check the radar
PhillyKat at 2:47:00 PM |
Pimpin' America 1
Pimpin' America 2
I hear Prince in my head:
Pimp rags....check
Tootsie pop...check
Raise your canes
PhillyKat at 1:44:00 PM | I Give Up
I, Allyson (you did know that's my first name right?), do hereby affirm that I give the fuck up! I am tired. I am tired of the struggle. I am tired of the hunt (the kat is dead long live the bunny). I am tired of looking. The more I look the more pathetic and claustrophobic I feel. I'm ready to jackrabbit and take off running yo. (hee...sometimes a little Philly sneaks in...damn Sylvester Stallone and his Rockyisms. *shakes fists* Did the rest of the world really hafta know we say "Yo!" a lot? Speaking of Rocky, little known fact about me1: a) I am a native Philadelphian and I have never seen Rocky. Little known fact about me2: I am a Rocky kid. Yup, I'm one of those kids that spent up to 4 days on the Philadelphia Parkway in the cold chasing Sylvester Stallone. BUT I am not in the movie; hence, the reason why I've not seen it.)
Where was I? Oh yes giving up. I surrender. I surrender to the poor. I surrender to not being able to get what I want when I want it for the first time in life. (And trust me it aint alot.) I surrender to the walk. (It's cheaper than the bus and the bus is cheaper than gas, which is alright because I don't drive.) I surrender to trying to figure out which utility gets paid and how long do I have before I HAVE to pay them. I just fucking give the fuck up.
This post turned out to be longer than I thought. So click here to continue or not. I really don't care.
I feel the need to write coming on. You might see some updates to A Wandering Mind.
PhillyKat at 5:47:00 PM |
A thought just came wafting through the twisty innards of my cranium. If guys get jock itch, do women have crothch itch? Yes, I really wondered that. I think crotch itch has a much better ring to it than feminine itching. Plus, I wondered if guys get jock itch even if they aren't wearing a jock. What about the unathletic guy who never wears a strap? Or does jock itch not refer to jock straps and just is a cool catch phrase of masculine itching? See the things I wonder when bored?
Me + bored is just not good. Maybe one day I'll tell you about one of my boredom exploits. You have no idea how many times I've almost been arrested, especially for trespassing. I don't think I even remember them all. I'll have to type something up one day. I can't tell you about what I've done 'illegal' in other countries cuz I don't know the statutes of limitations if there are any. I think I told you guys about my trying to pull out a loose piece of the Louvre in Paris. It was loose. I was there. I figured what the hell. I woulda had it too if it hadn't been for my lame ass girlfriend and that skinny ass security guard. That's alright though. I have a nice big rock from an...um well not saying it's ancient but not saying it's not.. structure. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
Did I tell you about the time I was inebriated (no not drunk, just warm and toasty) in high school and tried to secure myself to a column of a Greek Orthodox Church because I was convinced I was going to marry a Greek guy and that was the only way I was gonna meet one that looked like George Michael? Ahhhhh fun times. Fun times. I even knew his name too. George. What? Line up 10 Greek guys, more than half will be named George. Don't believe me. Go into a Greek restaurant and ask for George or yell the name out. See how many respondents you get. Then, turn around and yell "Peter!" Half of the non-Georges will be name Peter. I gah run tee it.
Well that un-bored me for a bit. Now, I dunno. Maaaaaaaybeeeeee.....nah I'm not that bored. Or am I?
PhillyKat at 1:08:00 AM | Tonights post brought to you by the letters M & P.
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you oralize
When I'm between your thighs.
You blow me away!
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face, and then I'll love you truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play
Till we're blown away!
written by Eric Idle
I think I'll have myself a Monty Python marathon. "Life of Brian," "Holy Grail," "Yellow Beard," and though it wasn't exactly MP..."The Adventures of Baron Munchausen." Yeah that'll happen. I never did do that Kevin Smith one.
I'm becoming majorly bored. I'll go back to my pig sty and finish what little I can do. I've decided to get rid of any and everything that I have not worn or used in the past 2 years. Y'all don't know thats a hell-o-alotta shit! If I had money, I'd pay someone to come and do this. I really would.
PhillyKat at 8:55:00 PM |
Note: If you did not see that damned cat scroll to Saturday's Random Thoughts for the link. I refuse to link it again.
*******
Oh this dumb fuck! Glad he can't procreate.
*******
Too bad she didn't stick it in her panties.
PhillyKat at 1:42:00 PM |
I knew there was something I didn't get to do on Friday but I couldn't remember what. I usually do this in J's comments.
1. When was the last time you laughed?
about 30 minutes ago
2. Who was the last person you had an argument with?
mouf, the same person i always argue with it seems.
3. Who was the last person you emailed?
everyone on the short yellow bus forum
4. When was the last time you bathed?
2 years ago tomorrow. lol umm this morning. wait bathed as in got clean? or bathed as in sat my beige ass in the tub? i haven't taken a bath since i started pilates. around may sometime. i took a shower this morning.
5. What was the last thing you ate?
salmon cake, brocoli & cauliflower, cornbread
PhillyKat at 2:00:00 AM | Yesterday, when I admitted to peeking up Ramses II skirt, I said I remembered something. By the way, if you didn't read all the entries you may have missed some nuggets. Anyway, here it is.
The Little Match-less Girl
I got bored one night. Quick note: In case you're new to me or somehow have missed this, I do dumb..nay crazy..nay stupid shit when I get bored. I'll do almost anything in the name of entertainment..almost anything. I'll also do ish just to find out 'y' or quell any curious george moments. end of note I was bored enough to read hotmail advertisements. One of the adverts came to life on my tv. Suddenly this old dude, Dr. Vinnie Boombots (big ups to anyone who can place that doc name) or whomever, began talking about match making and how his system works blah blah. Then I thought about BJ, VermilionX, and her fearless use of Match.com and got...what?....curious. rt: If curiousity killed the Kat, I've been dead at least 1 million times by now. end rt
Off I go. Off to eharmony and Mr. Perfect. Alright, this is a pay service, but you can register and fill the questionaire for free. Did I say questionaire? Sorry I meant the intrusive life sucking click marathon that takes you 30-60 minutes to muddle through only to realize that you're done right before your dissociated soul heads toward a white light out of sheer boredom. This generates a report that tells you about yourself as if you went to an astrology site and asked for your future.
At the end, I can only guess it tells you how many matches you would have if you only would pay for the service. The reason why I can only guess is because it says to me...get this..."...there are no matches for you." Mutha fucka what? I spent an hour on here for this bitch to call me a fucking looser! I'm sorry there Enigma, but you see in your own unique, independent, intimidating, big mouthed way, you have managed to make yourself unmateable. You, my dear Enigma, have ostricized every single male on the face of the earth. This includes those in the animal kingdom as well. But best of luck to ya. Apparently, their service can not match approximately 1 out of every 5 people, and lucky me, I'm that 1. Yeaaa me!!! I won! I won! Excuse me whilst I do the running man and the cabbage patch. I may throw in the hustle as an ode to the 70s.
PhillyKat at 1:49:00 AM | See if you can do this?
While sitting, make clockwise circles with your right foot. At the same time, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. What direction is your foot going now?
Weird, huh?
PhillyKat at 11:51:00 PM |
PhillyKat at 10:31:00 PM |
PhillyKat at 8:11:00 PM |
RANDOM THOUGHTS BY ENIGMA:
Can vigorously dancing while naked give you a black eye if you have big breasts? I'd try it but I don't wanna wind up looking like I dated Mi.ke Ty.so.n.
I had a dream last night that I was attacked on Rodeo Drive by a well known actress. The police let her go after I said I was pressing charges. One cop tried to intimidate me by threatening to put me in lock up for 24 hours. They backed down and picked her back up after I threatened to hold a press conference and call Johnny Cochrane. Wha' kinda acid trip was I on? The acidless kind.
E quote of the day: My mind is a fertile field and from it spring the retarded fruits of my haunted cranium.
Question: If my innards were really twisty, wouldn't I have diarhea or colitis or something?
Be.nc.io de.l T.or.o is like 2 skin folds away from looking exactly like a sharpei. He already looks like a Hanana-Barbera toon. I think it's either a bear or dog that mumbles when it talks or something. One of the really old ones.
It's all Mary's fault. Maddox is about as politically incorrect as Bill Mahr wishes he was. The funniest so far: ugly cars.
Will you look at the feet on this damn cat. They are huge. He has jackrabbit/hare feet. He's a care or a cabbit...a canny even. I was gonna say cunny but then you'd think I meant cunt then again..they're not called pussy cats for nuthin. Hey, maybe that's where the term came from. A pussy cat is a cat that has been crossbred with a rabbit. Somehow in the crossbreeding his ears shrunk. Tha hell is wrong with this kitty? He reminds me of that doll from the 70s whose hair got longer when you pulled her pony-tail and got shorter when you twirled her arm. I guess with this cat you just crank it's back paw. And what's up with the pornographic spread eagle? I so shoulda started that calendar, Kitty Porn. Cats are such whores. You think they got the couch to match the cat? And before anyone says I hate cats....I've had 8 of them so shut up!
Alright, 4 hours later and that damn cat is still freakin' me out. It looks like its posing for Playcat. Damn thing looks like an ad in one of those Las Vegas 'mags' advertising call girls..uh prostitutes..er dates. This cat is a callpussy. And that tail...looks like a coon skin cap! Davey Crocket's cap has been reanimated and turned into a cat. Gah! Someone, please, help me!
If you've got a passion for fashion, and if you have a craving for saving, take the wheel of your automobile and swing on down to... *hee ain't I a stinker*
PhillyKat at 1:57:00 PM |
*talking to self: this is apparently going to be one of those multiple multiple entry/edit & add like a fiend days huh? yyyyyyyep. 'parently so...'parently so.*
One of my favorite blogs, Rant-o-Rama is private, but you guys have to read this...get your puffs cuz you may tear up *sniff sniff*
As I said in the entry linked above, executives that make more in a year than I can make in 300 years can kiss my ass!
Those ugly, pasty-faced, protestant, caucasian, y-chromosome, golf-playing, wife-beating, secretary-fucking, republican-voting, foreign-beer-drinking, swiss-bank-account keeping, spending their kids' inheritance, selfish bastard toupee-wearin, viagra-poppin, degree-buyin, riding-on-daddie's coattails, never-having-an-opinion sychophant brown nozing schmoozing, backstabbing, grecian formula guzzling, evil-people-never-die-longevity hoggin, soulless fucktard baby boomer, pure exterior but sex pervert behind closed doors and not in a fun-kinky way either, 10% waitress tipping, mistress' plastic surgery-buyin, sexually harassing, lying, cheating, stealing, greasy, slimy, SUV drivin, immigrant-exploiting PIECE OF OVERPAID CEO EVIL motherfuckers.
*sniff* Wasn't that beautiful? *sniff*
PhillyKat at 1:34:00 PM |
NEWS FLASH
Blogger is a pimp and I'm it's bitch!
THAT IS ALL
You know you change your layout too much when:
You know the color codes by heart.
You have as many layouts as Shelby (no I don't)
Justin tells you to slow down (no he hasn't)
You don't recognize your own site.
You have to ask other people if they can remember what layout you used when because you can't.
PhillyKat at 1:05:00 PM | Just a little something that's been in mah heyad:
The Courtship of Eddie's Father
People let me tell you 'bout my best friennnnnnd
He's warm hearted person who'll love ya to the en-duh
People let me to you 'bout him
He's so much fun
Whether we're walking hand in hand
Or whether we're talking son to son
He' my beeeeeest frieeennnnnnnd
La lala lala la la lala lal la la
PhillyKat at 10:05:00 PM |
Ok it's hotter than the 8th level of hell up in here. My undergarments are moist and not in that "Ay, Papi" good way either. (Yeah I know you didn't need to know that, but I felt like sharing. I'm a giver. eww That was nasty! You pervs!) Nelly would be happy cuz I'm about to get nekkid. On 2nd thought, Nelly might go get me another a/c to cool me off. Pay me to keep my clothes on. Unless of course he's a breast man. If I were a chicken, the Perdue family would scare me more than they already do. Did anyone else get freaked out by how much Pop Perdue looked like a chicken? Sonny boy looks too much like one too. His dad looked more so cuz he had that neck. *shivers*
It's times like these that I admire nudists. sidebar: Ever notice that nudists aren't "beautiful"? They usually look like the people that work in your local grocery store behind the register and in the butcher section. Them and swingers. Woo! I thought the sexually....uh....experimental would be all tight bodied. Instead, 'they're jingling baby,' happy to be nekkid & flapping in the breeze. end sidebar When I was younger, I use to want to go to a nudist camp/beach like they did on Charlie's Angels. I envisioned myself hiding behind giant palm leaves watching naked relay races, naked volley ball (I just want to know if more than just the volleyball go flying), etc. You know what? I'd still go but it would have to be clothing optional. My ass must be clothed. I'm not into public displays of pubics.
So, yeah, I'm a voyeur from way back. Thanks to HBO's Real Sex (pick a number) my voyeuristic tendencies have been pretty much squashed. As a matter of fact, I've seen more than I have ever wanted. Though my fascination about The Skin Two Rubber Ball will probably never end, I doubt that you will ever see me ass up, tits out at an affair or on a tv show. You may, however, find me skulking in the bushes around nudists colonies hoping to get a glimpse of them frolicing in the sunshine like cherubic faeries.
PhillyKat at 8:48:00 PM |
Meanwhile in the batcave....I can not get my archives to work!!! It's making me kookoo!! Shelby tried to fix and she couldn't do it either. It's baffling. "It is a puzzlement."
PhillyKat at 6:44:00 PM | oops! i del an entry without re-publishing so it was still there. so here are the comments del. if i didn't like bj's i wouldn't have cp'd. vermilionx is linked at the right.
Does this mean your little furry friend is still in evidence??
Geez, you've already named him, why don't you just buy him a collar and leash, a mouse food bowl, some chi chi mouse biscuits (maybe cheddar flavored), some flea spray, and join us ranks of animal lovers?? *snort*
VermilionX | Homepage | 08.21.03 - 7:13 am | #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
see i forgot to del that gibberish but your comment is too funny. so i'll just have to edit.
the mice that came from my neighbors house are crazy. they acted like they owned the house like jerry ( tom & jerry).
i love cats. i like dogs. rodents must die.
Kat | Email | Homepage | 08.21.03 - 4:15 pm | #
PhillyKat at 4:19:00 PM |
Enneagram Test. Their explanation sucks, but at least you know your results the next time you come across an enneagram test.
My results are pretty dead on except for the prefer to talk than listen and withdraw/detached parts.
Take Free Enneagram Test
PhillyKat at 12:42:00 AM | Fun Stuff
1) The life of a superhero is chronicled on The Hulk
2) Bunny Love - cuz I'm hot
3) Singing hard rock kitty on a hog
4) Arm Wrestle Sigmund Freud
5) Slap a Ho
6) Find out what percent of good or evil any site is on The Gematriculator. I am a little shocked at my results.
Go figure! My site at netfirms was 4%. I gotta do betta *evil grin*
PhillyKat at 9:51:00 PM |
It's obvious she was supposed to be twins or whatever. I really didn't look at the picture because I don't like such things, but I know some of you do. So click the link. If you don't wanna see the picture either, just read the article.
PhillyKat at 6:27:00 PM |
I quit about midnight this morning. I had the floor pretty much cleared. There's a gignormous pile of shoes (and sneaks) in the middle of my floor. I use to keep 3 pairs of sneaks. I didn't know I had 4 pairs of Nikes, 2 pairs of Keds, 1 pair of Ryka or w/e, 1 pair of Filas, and 4 pairs of I dunno's. Then there are 4 pair of pumps, 9 pairs of sandals, and 5 pairs of boots (yes boots) in the mix. And check this out....I haven't worn any of those shoes in the last 5 months. Honestly I've only worn like 5 pair of the sneaks, none of those sandals (There are 6-7 more I've been wearing..not to mention all the ones in their boxes), 1 pair of boots, and 1 pair of pumps (on New Years) all year.
Don't think these are all the shoes I have because it isn't. I had thrown out/given away enough to bring me down to 65 pairs but I think I'm close to 100 again. Maybe more. I think I need to go to one of those flea markets and just set shit up. If I drove I probably would. I mean some of these shoes were worn one or 2 times like my prom shoes. Yes I still have my pink prom shoes. I have a pink suit that I've worn them with..once only I felt too pinky. All my bride's maids shoes. I also have designers that were killing me. Ou and I have my mom's Evan Picone's from the 60s that are so beautiful. They belong in a museum I think, but I ain't giving them up. Maybe that's what I should do. Sell used shoes and jewelry. Oh I dunno. I hate selling ish. If I had a front lawn (or a garage), I'd sell though. Ohhhhhh I would sell baby! (If you did not say that like George Costanza go back.)
Alright back to Jerry......
Sorry Justin but that bitch is going down, even if I go outside and bring in a stray cat. Alright, I won't do that because of fleas. But I'll borrow a mouser. A healthy, speedy, predatory, awake hunter! Oh, that just made me smile.
PhillyKat at 2:11:00 PM | I no longer need to go to blog directories iso links. I no longer need to hang around other bloggers sites and go through all of theres. Yes, I do that when iso something to read. Now, all I have to do is go through all the links on Social Reject. I found BeerMary that way. So far today I've been to 6 blogs I never would've found on my own. Yeaaaaaa! I've discovered I'm more of a prude than I knew. I hate being a prude. I need to find me a guy so I can bring out my inner whore. Um, k, let's just skp over that bit.
PhillyKat at 10:52:00 PM |
I got some sulphur. For those of you who don't know, mice don't like sulphur. What it does I don't know but it works. You put it down where you've seen them (high traffic areas) and they're gone. Well, I thought they were gone until one night in my room *squeak squeak* I freaked the hell out. I looked for that sucker and couldn't find it. I was up until 7am the next morning. Around that time I heard more squeaking, but I realized it was outside. It was a damn bird. I convinced myself it was the bird and not a mouse I heard. See how I lie to myself?
Let me say now that I am a colossal pack rat of Memnon proportions. Have you ever seen Unstrung Heroes? If you have, you have a clue of what my room looks like. It's just not as orderly as they were in the movie. They had piles. Things in recptacles. Me? I have shit all over the place. I have enough shoes for a village and even more clothes, most don't fit well or at all. You know the song lyric, "Wherever I lay my hat that's my home?" Yeah well...wherever I lay my things is where I leave 'em. I didn't use to be like this prior to the great depression, but I just stopped giving a damn. Now, I look around overwhelmed. Anyway......
I was doing my usual ritual of sitting on the side of the bed looking around, thinking of crying, trying to figure where to begin, when I saw the little muh fukka. I think he was trying to get out. I had had my door open for awhile and had just closed it. It had apparently just walked on in like a friend and was taking it's leave after realizing 'this bitch ain't got no damn food up here'. So, guess who dove into the mire and started moving shit? *hand up* Meeeeee! This will be a very long process (end of week I think) cuz I have a lot of shit and no where to put it. I've already turned my middle room into a storage closet and its full! I'm also laundering every stitich of clothing I have out, throwing shit out, making a big pile for the salvation army (I figure if I'm gonna do something I better do everything).
My job searching is on hold right now cuz I gotta get rid of all this ish** so Jerry has no where to hide (and so I can put some sulphur down). If that doesn't work, I'm going to get Chunky Butt aka Felix "the Cat" Greene. If you're use to seeing me or IMs just send an offline, I'll eventually answer. You know I'll need breaks. But rest assured, I'm gonna get that bitch if I have to sit still perched on the dresser like falcon using a knife for talons..I'm gonna get this little brown mother fucker! As God, Jehovah, Allah, Buddah, Isis, Osiris, ...fuck it.. Satan, as my muthafuckin' witnesses, I'm gonna get this mutha fukka. I HATE RODENTS!
** mostly shoes, clothes, jewelry, and the occasional cd case.
PhillyKat at 5:58:00 PM | I may not need graphics or another layout for this site because I'm thinking of closing it down. I have no idea if I'm talking to myself and like 3 other people who I talk to on IMs or in email. I get well over 20 hits a day, many that aren't weird searches from google, but you say nothing. If you took the time to bookmark me, you could at least speak. Shit, hello would be nice.
Well, I put a guest map up. I had been wanting to for a while. Maybe since you guys can't figure out how to work the comments or the guest book, you can figure out how to put a little pin on a map.
PhillyKat at 4:52:00 PM |
1) I'm tired of you people! You don't call. You don't write. You don't read everything. You don't comment for shit! Jay can stay on for 2 minutes at a time (poor thing still has that worm), and yet he managed to comment. If I had a dick, I'd tell you to suck it. Do I sound ticked? Yeah well I am.
2) Happy Birthday J! Remember stick the dolla in his g-string waist band. Don't put your hand all the way down there. That's intrusive. LMAO
PhillyKat at 1:58:00 AM | Layouts Needed
Alright this is a call to all you designers out there. I love my classic movie stars, but I see dead people and they irking me. I think only Lena Horne is still with us. I wanted to keep this up at least until September considering all the trouble I had with frames, netfirms, etc. I was contemplating putting nekkid mens *lisp required* on here. Actually some chests and maybe thighs by just changing the graphics. Now, I'm not so sure. I see question marks. Don't ask me. I dunno.
I need someone who has gone through my links and can design a layout that suits me because I got nuthin. Frames or no frames. Tables or no. Doesn't matter.
I also need one for a site tentatively to be named Dumb Dumb Cakes. This site will house stupidity, lol. Just crazy ish that comes to my mind (or J's but most likely mine with her instigating). The first 2 things up will the SUGAs (Skrait Up Ghetto Awards) and The Doctrine of the Supreme Unhinged (aka My friend Karl). This layout doesn't have to be involved. Just easy to update and maneuver. I have no idea what Dumb Dumb Cakes lool like, but I do know I will know them when I see them. Each page for the sections will look different so don't worry about that.
So, if anyone wants to design me a layout, please let me know via any means you have to reach me beit IM, email, or comments. Oh, I have no money, so this is purely free and something to do. Thanks.
PhillyKat at 2:15:00 AM |
Enigma's Impersonation of Brainy Smurf: *ahem* "I was riiiight. I was riiiiight." Thank you! And good night. Right about what you may ask. 2 days ago I said: It doesn't look like it's gonna be as much fun as the old ones, but hey..whatever!
This soooooo was not battle of the network stars. This was garbage. It was like celebrity mole but not as much fun. First off, there weren't celebs from each network, thus, they weren't broken into teams by network. Therefore, it was not the Battle of the Network Stars. It was like Xtreme Battle of the Whoevas. I mean Ross the Intern from Leno? C'mon! The events sucked. The only thing that was competitive to me was the maze at the end. They were going head to head. Everything else felt like Dog Eat Dog with celebs.
Note to NBC: If you intend on doing this again, make it interesting. First of, get celebs THAT REALLY ARE CELEBS ON SERIES NOT CANCELLED OR SYNDICATED THAT PEOPLE KNOW. Put said celebs on teams by network. Get the title now?
Have them play for points. Don't make every game worth money for a specific charity. Let each team play for their own charity. Have a set amount for each the winners get this, 2nd place that, and so on.
Bring back the competitive head on events like they use to have in the 70s/80s. It doesn't have to be football or tug-o-war, but it wouldn't hurt. You need help deciding? Call whoever organized *Nsync's Celebrity Skills Challenge for their Challenge for the Children events. It was much more battle of the network stars than your show was. Shit, Joey Fatone hosted one of your reality shows. Call him. Ask for advice. (Why I'm thinking about it, give Joey his own show. He's funny.)
Lastly, if you are unable to comply, do me a favor: Don't do it again! EVER! Let the Battle RIP. Or change the gatdamn name. end of note
Note to ABC: Why the hell did you let NBC run your ish if they were gonna fuck it up? Remember when you guys use to be the #1 station? It was because you use to know how to have fun and laugh. Why don't you hire me to help develop shows? Cuz, quite frankly, you guys suck at it. end of note
PhillyKat at 1:34:00 AM | What the fuck! It's GI George.
He can steal an election in a single call to his brother. He can lie to nations and commit genocide in the fruitless search of weapons of mass destruction. He's G.I. George. America's dumbest hero. GI George is there. GI George! The italics part is to the theme of the old GI Joe toon from the 80s. Right now it's been supplanted by a disco song, "Push, Push (In the Bush)" by Musique, from the 70s. But I digress...
His PR people are working overtime. They so wanna make this man appear to be one of the people. First, it's the deluge of pictures in the press showing him driving a truck in a plaid shirt? We get it already. He's Georgey Texan. Driver of the truck. Rider of the range. Now, the doll. Flyer of planes. Righter of wrongs. Bomber of Iraq. Reaper of the grim.
What's next do you think? Pictures of George looking off like he's thinking intelligently, well as intelligently as he can, with Old Glory billowing behind him. They'll use photo software to soften it. It'll have a soft sky blue background. It'll be oh so patriotic. I just wonder when did patriotism become less of preserving the lives of your people and more of kill them because we can?
PhillyKat at 11:48:00 PM |Keep Miss Puss Clean
The fruitcake lady dispenses some 24k nuggets of pure joy, delight, and common sense. If you watch The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, you should know the fruitcake lady. Ninety-two years old Marie Rudisil has been coming on The Tonight show since December of 2000 when she taught Jay and Mel Gibson how to make a fruitcake. She made subsequent visits and had segments with Tom Cruise and Hugh Grant.
For the past year she has been dispensing advice to Jay's watchers. The question topics range from love to health. Whatever the topic Marie has a comment. She told the rather unattractive man who wanted to know how to get a hot girl that he wasn't hot himself. The 50ish poor fat man discovered that there was no way he could keep a young girl without money. And to the woman who wanted to know how to keep her husband happy in bed, "Move [your hips] like you're wringing out a dish towel." And for god's sake, "Keep Miss Puss clean inside and out."
PhillyKat at 1:24:00 AM | Sometimes I think I'm a sad example of womanhood. Just pathetic. Jobless. Loveless. Almost moneyless. I'd ask if it can get worse than this, but I'm afraid if I say it, I'll find out. On top of that a crush I developed 3 or 4 years ago (alright maybe longer) that I had rid myself of is back much stronger than ever before. It started creeping back in last year, but took root last month. It's all Shelby's fault (had to use Shelby cuz I keep spelling the name J)! You can't put me near talented good looking men. I get all
. I am truly sad. Wooooo "HOT SEX ON A PLATTER"! It's a song, I swear, check the tracklistings for the Boomerang Sdtk.
Alright, this dreamy Pisces has one dream lover and one soulmate that will never want her in a million years. Why? Ooooh, because he's gay. My soulmate is a gay Mexican from Arizona. I haven't talked to him in a bit and I miss him. GAH! I feel like Will when Grace found Leo. How f'n sad is that? I'd be happy if the bitch that took him away from me weren't his work. This must be how doctor's wives feel. Oh my, did I just say that? See, I told you...just sad.
*****************
NBC is bringing back "Battle of the Network Stars"! I've been wanting this for sooo long. I think FOX was a fledgling when I started reminiscing about them. I saw some clips. It doesn't look like it's gonna be as much fun as the old ones, but hey..whatever!
PhillyKat at 7:20:00 PM | Well are you? Are you doing your thing? And doing it well? I need a "Do Your Thing" type of song right now. I will for the next few months....shit years maybe. LOL I need a boost. Encouragement. The whole shabang. I love this song. "Believe can't nobody do it better than you!" Shiiiiiit. I may hafta put that on loop.
Hi Manny!!!! I just checked my guest book.
PhillyKat at 3:42:00 AM | I love it when cool shit happens, especially to me. It will be 3 weeks ago this Friday when I saw Euge Groove on my local nbc affiliate performing in concert. I really enjoyed him. His performance was energetic an uptempo and he vibed very well with the audience. I could tell the audience was having a great time. Hell, they were dancing. I've never really seen that happen at a a saxophonist's concert. Anyway, I enjoyed it alot. I didn't catch his name because the news anchor/host is a mush mouth. I went on my merry way not even thinking of it later.
A few days later I was chatting with J about he who shall not strip me of my clothing anymore when he sings (THIS I AVOW!), his interest in jazz, and how I'd like to hear him sing jazz or str8 r&b. She tells me she has a file with him singing on a jazz track, Give It to Me, and transfers it to me. I liked it. The file said Euge Groove and I went on a short hunt. When I got to his site, I found out it was the same guy from the telecast. I also found out that the song is Called "Give In To Me" and that the vocals were laid down by *Nsync and not just he who shall not strip me of my clothing anymore when he sings.
Today I go check my email and there's this email (I almost deleted cuz I didn't recognize the email addy) from
Euge Groove regarding my guestbook entry. How 'bout that? Cool huh? Granted, his manager or pr person probably wrote it, but it's still kinda cool. Don't you think?
Remember it's the little things people. The little things.
PhillyKat at 7:54:00 PM |
Questions: 151-200 and 201-250
gatdamnit my f'n comments aren't wkg!!!!! again!
PhillyKat at 2:49:00 AM |ALERT!
In case you don't know there's a worm attacking you xp users. If you keep getting booted from the net, you have it. They say it has no affect on 98, but something had my cpu by the balls. I didn't shut down but there was something running. It added an icon to my system tray and everything. Virus scanners can not detect worms unless they've been programmed to do so. Here are links for you to download the "cure":
McAfee: http://us.mcafee.com/virusInfo/default.asp?id=description&virus_k=100547
You can download the .dat file or Stinger
Norton: http://securityresponse.symantec.com/
If you do not have the worm, make sure download the patch at http://microsoft.com/security
PhillyKat at 3:18:00 PM |
edit: BLOGGER IS DA DEBIL! I TELL U DA DEBIL!!!!!
enigma/blog.htm should not be updating. the blog portion of http://www.hush-nah-chile.net/enigma/ should not be centered. code has been changed. things have been ftp'd and yet. it changed then changed right back. da debil! Forget Tommy Mottola. Mike was wrong.
PhillyKat at 12:52:00 AM | Hey starting 12 August the site address for my blog will change slightly. There will be no need to put /blog.htm at the end of the addy. My main page at netfirms will no longer exist. So, if you have me bookmarked please adjust your bookmarks accordingly. I'd redirect but I don't know how to do that...yet.
PhillyKat at 3:30:00 AM | Everything I have read regarding the Stripped/Justified tour has either been by teeny bopper screaming mimi's with a crush 'this big' on Justin or by so-called music reviewers who seem to have a grudge against Christina or Justin or both. Since I don't fall into either catergory, I decided to write my own review. To summarize for those too lazy to read it: they worked hard for the money.
So, yeah, I went to the Stripped Justified tour and this is what I thought....
Click name for review:
Black Eyed Peas/Christina Aguilera
Justin Timberlake
PhillyKat at 11:29:00 PM |
Gregory Hines
14 February 1946 - 9 August 2003
One of the US's last true all around entertainers
PhillyKat at 3:53:00 PM |
shorter story even shorter:
expect a review of the concert
expect a new addy for this page
PhillyKat at 2:15:00 AM | The Conundrums & Sh*t forum is back. It's officially called Da Crib. The banner will change the name. Next up, Short Yellow Bus. (Actually there is a SYB forum. It's on a different server.) Notice I haven't linked it. I won't be either. I also have a bit of something I want to gloat about but I need to keep that to myself for right now.
Jaybird not only has net tourettes he has ADD. He's on what has to be about his 10th layout in 5 - 6 months (most in the last 2). He loves himself some psp. I think if he gets his hands on dreamweaver he may keel over and die. He's even surpassed Shelby, not an easy fete, I must say. She has a new layout too. I picked it out *cheese*
I really have nothing to say. I'm all talked out really. I do have a request. If/when anyone finds out exactly what songs are mixed with "I'm Lovin' It" by Jus.tin T-lake, please let me know. Yeah I did the little split name thing cuz I'm tired of t-lake hits.
PhillyKat at 12:33:00 AM | Fucking bungholio ultracraptastic asstards!!! And that is all I will say about those gatdamn muthafuckas.
PhillyKat at 1:53:00 AM | ILLITERATES, CENSORSHIP, and MEGALOMANIACS OH MY!
I had a forum, Conundrums & Sh*t. Yes, I said had. It has been deleted by server administration in the growing need for people on the internet to behave like megalomaniac butt sniffing asshats. Since I don't feel like retyping the whole thing again. I'm just going to cut & paste an email I sent to most of the C&S's members. I didn't have all their emails. So, if you are a member and didn't receive an email, sorry.
About 3 new people (I think) registered and one took offense to my telling the denziens of C&S to be on their best behavior or so her husband said. Yes her husband. She fucking went and told daddy....er.....hubby who registered in oder to pm me. I answered him but I doubt he was able to recieve it. Anywho, today when I logged in around 6:00pm est, I received a mail from Jaybird, a global mod, telling me the flollowing was on the board:
Warning!! Your board has been found to be in violation of the conforums TOS! Several violations which include Nude pictures, foul language, and topics that are not suitable to be on a Conforums.com message board. You have 24 hours to correct this or this message board will be deleted! 8/5/03 11:11Am. - Jason - Conforums Admin. (http://support.conforums.com)
Of course I freestyled my own little response to that. I don't know what I said verbatim but it was on the order of:
First of all reading is fundamental. I have no intentions on editing or censoring anyone. the photo is a nude taken by one of the world's top photographers. it's not like it was pornographic. Secondly, conforums admins have been on this board at least 3x and never said anything about the content. so i wonder why now. hmmmm. i still wonder where the forum survivor competition on the support board came from...hmmmm. Any global mod that wants to edit can. some topics are offensive? would be nice to know which ones? you give 24hrs and put 11:11am what friggin time zone!!?
You know i didnt stop there. I started a thread. "I just found out i could delete that message on the homepage, but why, since it was put there by a 33 year old grown ass man to be embarassing, it should stay there. don't cha think?" I'm thinking Jason found something offensive and being the king..er...administration for the server, he deleted the forum before Jay or any other mod could log in. Not to mention no one was able to log in and save anything they had written.
Anyway, having a forum was becoming a pita (pain in the ass) so I really wasn't caring, but I do kinda like having a place to hang out and get stupid with some of my favoritest ever people on the net! So I started a temporary one on ikonboard affectionately called Short Yellow Bus.
Opps! I hope that didn't offend. If it did, suck me, lick me, and make me a sandwich, bitch!
PhillyKat at 8:38:00 PM |
PhillyKat at 12:31:00 AM | When You Don't Have a Life, Do You Even Get Lemons?
I was just at VermilionX. I waited all day to see if BJ posted about her date with David, a guy she met on the net. Why was I waiting? Because I have no life and am in need of excitement and adventure, even if it's someone elses.
Before, when I actually had a job, went on two 1 week vacations every year, and a few weekends getaways here and there, I also would say I didn't have a life. I said that because I was dateless, manless, companionshipless, but not stress less. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't see the forest for the trees, bushes, mosquitoes, and that big fat brown bear sitting there scratching its ass on bark. I hated my dead end job and the piece of shit company that employed me. I was blinded by an unhappy work and home life.
I tried to make lemonade for awhile, but I believed I had rotten fruit. Maybe I did. I don't know. What I do know is that now I am unemployed and feeling unemployable. I feel like if I stay here much longer I will wind up homeless (Why do I think that? I dunno. I own my home straight out and my taxes are paid.), sleeping on a grate, and asking people for a quarter (or offer hand jobs for a whopper jr. with cheese). Alright, so I got a little carried away there. I do feel things are or are becoming dire, but a hand job for a whopper jr? Shit that least worth a full number 3 or something. (I don't even know what a #3 is but I hope it has onion rings.)
I now have to do something I've never been good at...get up and go place to place looking for employment. There's nothing in the paper. There's nothing really on the net. I think the quick bet is retail. There are jobs at the ACME, but if I have to resort to bagging groceries, I'm going to run away. Seriously, I mean it. I'm going to disappear. I'll go to the free library and check in with you guys. I'll broadcast from across the states. Say, that doesn't sound half bad.
Anyway, I have no idea how to get a job without answering a written advertisement of some sort. I haven't done it since I was 18. I'd tell you how long ago that was, but quite frankly it's none of your damn beeswax. (Hee, I was on the Indian Spirit forum and someone mentioned when they were little beeswax use to be a bad word. Isn't that just too cute?) To be honest I'm a little scared. It's hard enough being told you're too whatever (remember this is the Too Girl talking) it is that they're not looking for. Not to mention I didn't like being on my feet helping customers all day when I was a teen. *Gah!* Do you have this in my size? Do you see it in your gatdamn size. If we had it in your size, don't you think we'd have it out? Instead you prefer to think we've banned size 16 today! And by the by, your ass is a 20 if it's an inch, hon. *Gah!* My head it aches so.
That local ACMEs will still be hiring if all else fails I guess. Oh that'll work. Me ringing and bagging groceries.....and checking coupons! I'd be hopped up on frappucinos!
Dear Lord, where are my lemons? Oh, the produce aisle! Who knew? 
D'Oh! On the bright side they have water and honey (or sugar) and I make some damn fine, mmm mmm good lemonade. *smack lips* Can you smell the citrus seeping through my pours?
PhillyKat at 11:59:00 PM | Just added a link to review my blog under Quick Links. I'm not sure how long it will be there, as I'm not one to go around reviewing other people's blogs and don't really expect anyone to review mine. But since Blogarama asks so nicely, lol. If you really want to review me here's the link: Review Unraveling Enigma...sorta
edit: 7:17pm
I am on a level of boredom that only the truly devout have ever reached. I do believe I am starting to float. This could prove interesting (or not). Stay tuned.
edit: 7:22pm
I, Allyson, do solemnly affirm (for the moment) that I will not blog anymore today. ahahahahahhaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh meeeeennnnnnnnnnnn
PhillyKat at 6:02:00 PM |
I really like that. Can you tell? BJ, aka VermilionX, has a way of calling someone crazy in a funny non-offensive way doesn’t she? Anyway, I’m thinking of changing the name of my blog (no one really knows the name of it anyway) once I get everything from main page at Enigma’s Conundrum over here. I’m thinking of:
Twisty Innards
Dumb Dumb Cakes for Everybody
Haunted Cranium
and of course… The Seabiscuit of Badness.
I was calling myself The Seabiscuit of Badness the other day. I don’t know what I was doing or had done, but I felt quite seabiscuity. I rather like it. What do you think? By the by, the name of the blog is Unraveling Enigma…sorta.
*******
I’ve come to a decision about my state of perpetual unemployment. I’ve come up with some options for myself that I would like to share. These are jobs, fields, or things to do that I thought would, perhaps, let my God given talents shine. So here goes ....
(hint: click the … for page)
*******
I just heard the lyric of a song by Hot Action Gap(?), but it made me laugh. I got the fever for the flavor of a coochie. I think that’s what he said. They use coochie, hoochie and some other oochies interchangeably so it was hard to tell. I’m thinking the Pringles people didn’t have that in mind.
*******
Hey did I tell you guys about the lady in England that interrupted the music fest by masturbating? No. Dang! I don’t have the link either..not that you need to see her playing with herself. Dude was on stage (a gazebo) with his guitar singing when this chick walks up butt naked, lays down in the grass (near the trash where she belonged) with her grass towards the audience, legs open and starts fingering herself. *roflmfao* The performer kept trying to do his set. Eventually, he left the stage, but soon returned with a can of oil. He then poured said oil (I don’t know what kind) on the masturbator, who, undistrubed, kept stroking herself. WTF is wrong with the English? Woo Lawd! You gotta love ‘em (or not I really don’t care). The Blackadder. Eastenders. The Skin Two Rubber Ball (one day I’m actually going to attend. I swear I am!) And now the naked lady from Gastonbury (however the hell they spell it).
*******
Tomorrow, I have my house to myself. HOT DIGGITY DAG DAG DA DIGGITY UP JUMP THE DIGGITY THE DIGGITY JUMP ME DAWG! I dunno just go with it. Think I’ll walk around buck naked singing old nee gro spuratchuls. * deep voice* Dowwwn By the River…k I don’t know anymore of that one, but I’ll move me a moutain and swing it low gatdamn! Then, I’ll chew ice and sing Hot in Herre while doing the crip walk. Ahhh fun times!
PhillyKat at 1:31:00 AM | I feel like Mittens. (note: look for the turquoise colored cat at right) No I don't wanna eat your hot spicey brains. Damn, what smells good? Er, yeah so......um.....k......Mittens....yes, I've decided to conqueor the world. First, I need a sub that can withstand the deepest depths of the Atlantic. Second, I need to find the underwater sea people. Then, I need to convince them that air breathers mean them harm and that water pollution is a strategy employed to WIPE THEM OUT! I'll rule the world. *tapping finger tips* muuuuahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I'll start a war. A war for my own greed and...hey wait....duh! I'm not George Bush! *slap head* What the fuck was I thinking? *sheesh* Mittens got to me. Good thing he/she doesn't rule the world.
PhillyKat at 10:03:00 PM |
This is my brain. (Notice it's red spiciness)
This is my brain designed by Escher. A little nightmarish, but it's all relative.
Relativity by Escher
PhillyKat at 9:01:00 PM |
In case you didn't hear at a multi-artist concert held in Toronto to increase tourism, Justin had refuse thrown at him while performing. To be honest it wasn't his fault because he was mis-cast. There's no way in hell JT should've been on the same bill as The Rolling Stones, Rush, and (Lord help me) AC/DC. He's not a rocker. A fan maybe but not a performer. I was surprised when I found out he was doing the concert considering Mick Jagger said some pretty negative things about him a few weeks ago. He basically called him a talentless Michael Jackson impersonator. What did he expect Stone fans to do? At least Stone fans have proved to be consistent over the decades, they boo'd and threw garbage at Prince when he opened for The Stones over 20 years ago.
What gets me is that when Mick invited Justin on stage with him (he did a damn fine job from the clip I saw), they still threw shit at him. It took Keith Richards to stop them. They apparently didn't even care if they hit Mick. Now ain't that some shit?
A picture is truly worth a 1,000 words. Tell me that doesn't look like a silicone breast implant. Or, maybe a saline bag from a hospital. Or just a condom full of pee.
PhillyKat at 12:05:00 AM |
Ten to 12 years ago they, my friends, laughed at my theory. They scauffed. They poo-pooed me. They called me crazy, not right, and just plain ignorant. However I stand by this assessment. In the early 90s/late 80s Mi.cha.el Ja.cks.on wanted to look like a character from what was/is quite probably one of his (and mine) favorite children's movies. I present the evidence.
Yes, I tell you Mi.cha.el wanted to look like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Again in 2000 there were cackles, shaking of heads, turning up of noses, sneers, and the poo-pooing of ideas. Again I hold by my convictions. I present the evidence.
Sing it with me: "Abu dorey. Abu dorey."
That is not the Michael Whovian picture I wanted, but quite frankly I tired greatly of looking at pictures of Michael Jackson so that one will have to do. There are other characters and people that he has turned into over the years all in the attempt to, in my opinion, become Peter Pan. The women/woman who gave this man her child(ren) should be prosecuted and persecuted. Yes I said give HER child because there is no damn way a man who, underneath it all, looks like this
can have a child (or 3) that look like this not even with a woman that looks like this (sorry about the tit pic, but it's all I could find of her..least it's small). Genetics people genetics. Ain't enough recessive genes in the world for that shit.
PhillyKat at 10:46:00 PM |
Seven on Sunday
I usually answer these on a forum but I really liked the topic. Plus, the only other topic I have in mind is one chock full of bitchy venom and I just don't feel like it now. So, let's make lists. Who doesn't like lists? SHUT UP!
Seven talented celebrities, be they actors, musicians, whatever, who you think are immensely underrated/unappreciated:
1) Alan Cumming, actor, author, screenplay writer ~
2) Bob Schneider, singer/musician ~
3) Marilyn Monroe, actress*
4) Justin Timberlake, song writer**
5) soap opera actors+
6) Brad Pitt, actor++
7) Tim Roth, actor ~
* She truly wasn't a bad actress. She was good, too good in fact. She managed to type cast herself, though she fought hard to change it. Most people pay no attention to her performances in movies like Niagra or Don't Bother to Knock.
**Justin is a damn fine song writer for a 22 year old. That's where I believe he's underappreciated. He's been writing lyrically solid, musically sound songs since he was a teenager, but all people talk about is his love life. Maybe he should set about the task of finding a real woman and not a pretty hollywood princess to be taken seriously.
+ These people learn pages of script daily (sometimes minutes before filming), most act their asses off, and some work at night on broadway, but the industry looks down on them for some reason. There are soap actors like Roger Howarth that can act rings around any lead actor out today, but he's on a soap so...
++ I laughed when I thought of Brad because he's the most successful person on my list. I feel his acting ability is underappreciated by Hollyweird and fans alike. Brad's one of the best actors out today. He's a great character actor, but Hollyweird just wants to make him mr. pretty boy. Do they even watch his movies? If they can acclaim Julia Roberts acting because she played a whore with a heart of gold and give her an Oscar for playing a tack head with a heart of gold, why the hell can't they appreciate a damn fine actor who happens to be attractive? I just don't get it.
~If you don't know who they are, go check them out. They're worth it. Recommendations: rent Circle of Friends, The Anniversary Party [Alan]; rent Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, 4 Rooms [Tim]; download "Better," "Under My Skin," "Madeline" or buy Lonelyland [Bob]. (Link for Bob in my listenin' section)
PhillyKat at 3:13:00 PM | 2 Reviews
It's been a long time since I did a cd review so I've done 2 just for you. (Sorry I just couldn't stop.)
The first review is of Kish Kash by Ba.sem.ent J.ax.x. Overall, I was disappointed. It started off great and thanks to Me'shell NdegeOcello ended just as great. The middle however is not great. If I wanted to hear 80s punk combined with euro electronica (Dieter's dance party), I'd listen to it willingly. I don't know what the hell was going on in a couple songs or even why they're on the cd. Upon listening I would give Ki.sh Ka.sh a C, but the calcs came up with a D. Click the link for the song by song review.
The second revie is of Clo.nes by the Ne.pt.unes. Actually, that should be by various artists because Clo.nes is a compilation cd. I was disappointed in this as well. I expected well produced songs with driven beats, either fast or slow. What I got was monotonous mellowness laced with a few up beats here and there. In each song I kept thinking "something is missing. What was wrong with Chad?" Granted they needed to change up a bit, but they didn't need to get boring on me. When you're lulled into thining this is just a rap (I won't even call it hip hop) cd, boom!, psychdelic rock beckoning the 60s (well wanting to anyway) starts playing. I waited almost the entire length of the cd to get to the best song. "Popular Thug" by Nas and Kelis is really good and not because it's the last, but because it's good. Again, click the link for the song by song review to read why I gave it a 'D'.
My recommendation for anyone looking for a good hip hop cd w/various artists would be to go buy the Bad Boys 2 soundtrack. Some songs are recycled, but they're good songs (for the most part) and it flows nicely
PhillyKat at 7:20:00 PM |
Something from my email:
TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE FIRST . .. .
SO, WHAT DID YOU SEE ?
Research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such scenario. What they will see are the nine dolphins.
Additional note: This is a test to determine if you already have a corrupted mind. If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupted.
PhillyKat at 4:39:00 PM | I Couldn't Keep On Topic If You Glued Me
I was going to talk about how I think the only way I'll ever get some hands laid on me is to pay for them or go to some holy rolly church for a healing. Put as I thought about it I started singing one of my favorite songs (ever) by my favorite group from the 70s, Heatwave. Some of you may only know them from disco hits like "Boogie Nights" and "Groove Line," or from the wedding staple, "Always & Forever," but those 3 songs don't even make it into my top 5 (alright maybe 2 of them but not all 3). The song I was singing was "Lay It On Me" from their first lp, Too Hot to Handle. Yeah I used lp. There weren't any cds and I didn't feel like using album so stop snickering and kiss my beige booty. I have it on cd though, cuz everytime I stole my sister's lp she stole it back. Bitch!
I can't stop singing it now. Lay it on me. Lay your sweetness on me. Lay it on me (hold me tight). I need ya lady. Here's the thing, if I play it, I will undoubtedly play every Heatwave song I love followed by those I like. Then, a song by some other artist from the era (or not) will pop into my head and I will have a concert going on to rival Live Aid. I've things to do tomorrow. I can't be staying up all night singing to myself and chair dancing with wild abandon until I am hot and sweaty like I just fucked the ever loving mercy out of Ju.st.in Ti.mber.la.ke (I would so break his little ass), Bo.ri.s Ko.dj.oe, and Ge.or.ge Cl.oon.ey. (Wha? Who's Bo.ri.s? This is.) Woo..... You wouldn't know this, but I just had me a major little fantasy going on. I digress. My point *shivers sorry that was left over* My point is I can't be up all damn night. Hey! It's gone.
Shit, that "Hey!" reminded me of the exclamation Grammar Rock song. You know some bitch dun stole my Science and American History Rock tapes. Damn bastards. I need to go through my database, which I haven't updated in I don't know when, to see what else is missing. I found out in the rudest way that my limited edition Snow White was gone. I almost cried. I am so wanting to wish death on whateva bastard stole my shit, but that's not right. I just ask for retribution... for a swift and mighty karmic pounding. I wonder if they're out on dvd? Not going to check cuz I don't have money for unnecessary (Mother Necessity where would we be without the inventions of your progeny?) purchases. (Lolly! Lolly! Lolly Get your adverbs here! Father son and Lolly. Get your adverbs here!)
Ugh! I need a massage. Fuck now I got P. Shiddy all up in mah head. "..a little massage. type shit you get when you head nigga in charge." My mind is behaving like a radio that keeps skipping stations. Wait! My ears are twitching...ah the humidity has gone up and the dow is down. Speaking of weather... (I am going to get myself a crown and dub myself Segue Queen) how is it that Philadelphia is experiencing warmer weather than a city in Nevada? Are you still gonna tell me that the government and their minions at NASA using technology developed by drooling pocket protector loving MIT graduates to fuck with the atmosphere? H.A.R.P. is being cranked up. Has anyone seen the airplanes in the sky seeding clouds or emiting "fog"? Absolute clear sky in front of them and smog after them coming out of something in their craft. They pipe it out in a basketweave pattern. And viola! A haze that turns your city (or at least Philadelphia) into a giant greenhouse! Ain't we lucky?
Fuck! It's back. *sigh* I'm pulling the cd out now.
**no friday 5 cuz i thought it was stupid and it irritated me. mouf is here now and i am now in a foul mood.**
PhillyKat at 11:49:00 PM |
Making fiiiends
Making fiiiends
Vendetta's always making fiiiiends
Making fiiends
While Charlotte makes friends
Just click it.
Muffin?
Another pup named Muffin. And quite possibly a bunny's fantasy.
PhillyKat at 2:17:00 AM | I guess Ma.do.nna (Ma) was passing the torch or should I say mic to the next generation of video divas/press whores represented by Xti.na A.gui.lera (X), Mi.s.sy E.lli.ot (ME), and Br.itn.ey Spe.ars (BS). In case you are sitting there wondering wth I'm talking about, the VMAs were on today. They did a 2 groom, 2 bride thing singing "Like a Virgin" (I've always had an extreme dislike for this song) and "Hollywood" with Missy's "Work It" mixed in. It was interesting to say the least. I think people will be nice and shocked about Ma kissing BS and X. We didn't get to see the X kiss because they cut to Ju.st.in as Ma and BS (those are really good initials for her don't you think?) kissed for his reaction. He didn't look very thrilled. Get over it boy! BS was a little opened mouthed, too. After the show Snoop Dog said he's be ready to join them and 'set it off' right. Lawd help me! The mental image has burned the corneas of my mind.
Compared to performances of VMAs past I thought the performances pretty much sucked. X was good cuz well....SHE DIDN'T LIP SYNC and R.ed.ma.n & D.av.e Na.var.ro joined her on stage. If you like seeing asses wiggling then Bouncy had a plethora of booty's shakin' on stage with her. I guess Go.od Char.lo.tte was good. They were full of energy at least. I thought I was going to get to see D2 (that should be D squared) perform. They were surprised with a lifetime achievement in video award. IMO they should've received the first one. Video's truly wouldn't be big budget mini movies if it weren't for them. I would prefer to watch an old D2 video (and I can cuz I have a tape....shut up!) than most of this new shit. Vids from the 80s man.... they had imagination.... even the cheesy ones by Missing Person's (geez Terri (?) Bozio and the boys), Devo, the Tubes...ahhh. Maybe MTV should give me a video show called 80s Style. Throw up some INXS with Clarke Kent and a little bit of the Jackson clan with a smidge of Soulsonic Force. Shiiiiiit! I'd make 80's kids pee their pants in glee.
Now, why is it I just prattled on about 80s vids, but I have a 70s song in my head? "Walking through the park and reminiscinnnnng". Alright, I must go play the Little River Band now. Damnit! That's gonna lead me into all kinds of songs. I'm gonna be up late. I just know it.
PhillyKat at 11:59:00 PM | Wanna know if the cd you want was released by an RIAA member? Check the radar
PhillyKat at 2:47:00 PM |
The only thing missing is the Tootsie Pop.
Pimpin' America 1
Pimpin' America 2
I hear Prince in my head:
Pimp rags....check
Tootsie pop...check
Raise your canes
PhillyKat at 1:44:00 PM | I Give Up
I, Allyson (you did know that's my first name right?), do hereby affirm that I give the fuck up! I am tired. I am tired of the struggle. I am tired of the hunt (the kat is dead long live the bunny). I am tired of looking. The more I look the more pathetic and claustrophobic I feel. I'm ready to jackrabbit and take off running yo. (hee...sometimes a little Philly sneaks in...damn Sylvester Stallone and his Rockyisms. *shakes fists* Did the rest of the world really hafta know we say "Yo!" a lot? Speaking of Rocky, little known fact about me1: a) I am a native Philadelphian and I have never seen Rocky. Little known fact about me2: I am a Rocky kid. Yup, I'm one of those kids that spent up to 4 days on the Philadelphia Parkway in the cold chasing Sylvester Stallone. BUT I am not in the movie; hence, the reason why I've not seen it.)
Where was I? Oh yes giving up. I surrender. I surrender to the poor. I surrender to not being able to get what I want when I want it for the first time in life. (And trust me it aint alot.) I surrender to the walk. (It's cheaper than the bus and the bus is cheaper than gas, which is alright because I don't drive.) I surrender to trying to figure out which utility gets paid and how long do I have before I HAVE to pay them. I just fucking give the fuck up.
This post turned out to be longer than I thought. So click here to continue or not. I really don't care.
I feel the need to write coming on. You might see some updates to A Wandering Mind.
PhillyKat at 5:47:00 PM |
Bored Now
A thought just came wafting through the twisty innards of my cranium. If guys get jock itch, do women have crothch itch? Yes, I really wondered that. I think crotch itch has a much better ring to it than feminine itching. Plus, I wondered if guys get jock itch even if they aren't wearing a jock. What about the unathletic guy who never wears a strap? Or does jock itch not refer to jock straps and just is a cool catch phrase of masculine itching? See the things I wonder when bored?
Me + bored is just not good. Maybe one day I'll tell you about one of my boredom exploits. You have no idea how many times I've almost been arrested, especially for trespassing. I don't think I even remember them all. I'll have to type something up one day. I can't tell you about what I've done 'illegal' in other countries cuz I don't know the statutes of limitations if there are any. I think I told you guys about my trying to pull out a loose piece of the Louvre in Paris. It was loose. I was there. I figured what the hell. I woulda had it too if it hadn't been for my lame ass girlfriend and that skinny ass security guard. That's alright though. I have a nice big rock from an...um well not saying it's ancient but not saying it's not.. structure. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
Did I tell you about the time I was inebriated (no not drunk, just warm and toasty) in high school and tried to secure myself to a column of a Greek Orthodox Church because I was convinced I was going to marry a Greek guy and that was the only way I was gonna meet one that looked like George Michael? Ahhhhh fun times. Fun times. I even knew his name too. George. What? Line up 10 Greek guys, more than half will be named George. Don't believe me. Go into a Greek restaurant and ask for George or yell the name out. See how many respondents you get. Then, turn around and yell "Peter!" Half of the non-Georges will be name Peter. I gah run tee it.
Well that un-bored me for a bit. Now, I dunno. Maaaaaaaybeeeeee.....nah I'm not that bored. Or am I?
PhillyKat at 1:08:00 AM | Tonights post brought to you by the letters M & P.
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you oralize
When I'm between your thighs.
You blow me away!
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face, and then I'll love you truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play
Till we're blown away!
written by Eric Idle
I think I'll have myself a Monty Python marathon. "Life of Brian," "Holy Grail," "Yellow Beard," and though it wasn't exactly MP..."The Adventures of Baron Munchausen." Yeah that'll happen. I never did do that Kevin Smith one.
I'm becoming majorly bored. I'll go back to my pig sty and finish what little I can do. I've decided to get rid of any and everything that I have not worn or used in the past 2 years. Y'all don't know thats a hell-o-alotta shit! If I had money, I'd pay someone to come and do this. I really would.
PhillyKat at 8:55:00 PM |
When I went to bed early Sunday morning, the last thing I thought of was "that damned cat." When I awoke later that morning, the first thing I thought of was...say it with me..."that damned cat." One of the first things to cross my mind this morning was, of course, "that damned cat." I've decided that cats are evolving into a 2 legged creature with small ears and big feet. "That damned cat" is ahead of the curve. I'm not sure how I'm gonna feel about domestic cats when that day comes, but until then I'll just enjoy the cuteness of the kitties.
Note: If you did not see that damned cat scroll to Saturday's Random Thoughts for the link. I refuse to link it again.
*******
Oh this dumb fuck! Glad he can't procreate.
*******
Too bad she didn't stick it in her panties.
PhillyKat at 1:42:00 PM |
Friday 5 a few days late
I knew there was something I didn't get to do on Friday but I couldn't remember what. I usually do this in J's comments.
1. When was the last time you laughed?
about 30 minutes ago
2. Who was the last person you had an argument with?
mouf, the same person i always argue with it seems.
3. Who was the last person you emailed?
everyone on the short yellow bus forum
4. When was the last time you bathed?
2 years ago tomorrow. lol umm this morning. wait bathed as in got clean? or bathed as in sat my beige ass in the tub? i haven't taken a bath since i started pilates. around may sometime. i took a shower this morning.
5. What was the last thing you ate?
salmon cake, brocoli & cauliflower, cornbread
PhillyKat at 2:00:00 AM | Yesterday, when I admitted to peeking up Ramses II skirt, I said I remembered something. By the way, if you didn't read all the entries you may have missed some nuggets. Anyway, here it is.
The Little Match-less Girl
I got bored one night. Quick note: In case you're new to me or somehow have missed this, I do dumb..nay crazy..nay stupid shit when I get bored. I'll do almost anything in the name of entertainment..almost anything. I'll also do ish just to find out 'y' or quell any curious george moments. end of note I was bored enough to read hotmail advertisements. One of the adverts came to life on my tv. Suddenly this old dude, Dr. Vinnie Boombots (big ups to anyone who can place that doc name) or whomever, began talking about match making and how his system works blah blah. Then I thought about BJ, VermilionX, and her fearless use of Match.com and got...what?....curious. rt: If curiousity killed the Kat, I've been dead at least 1 million times by now. end rt
Off I go. Off to eharmony and Mr. Perfect. Alright, this is a pay service, but you can register and fill the questionaire for free. Did I say questionaire? Sorry I meant the intrusive life sucking click marathon that takes you 30-60 minutes to muddle through only to realize that you're done right before your dissociated soul heads toward a white light out of sheer boredom. This generates a report that tells you about yourself as if you went to an astrology site and asked for your future.
At the end, I can only guess it tells you how many matches you would have if you only would pay for the service. The reason why I can only guess is because it says to me...get this..."...there are no matches for you." Mutha fucka what? I spent an hour on here for this bitch to call me a fucking looser! I'm sorry there Enigma, but you see in your own unique, independent, intimidating, big mouthed way, you have managed to make yourself unmateable. You, my dear Enigma, have ostricized every single male on the face of the earth. This includes those in the animal kingdom as well. But best of luck to ya. Apparently, their service can not match approximately 1 out of every 5 people, and lucky me, I'm that 1. Yeaaa me!!! I won! I won! Excuse me whilst I do the running man and the cabbage patch. I may throw in the hustle as an ode to the 70s.
PhillyKat at 1:49:00 AM | See if you can do this?
While sitting, make clockwise circles with your right foot. At the same time, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. What direction is your foot going now?
Weird, huh?
PhillyKat at 11:51:00 PM |
I realized today that my mom would've been 80 years old today. She was in her 40s when I was born. My not realizing the date or being sad and not knowing why is a big step for me. Honestly, I remembered about 2 hours ago, but then I forgot again. I'm actually happy about this. I feel like my life is moving on and I'm not dwelling on the past. Yeah baby!
PhillyKat at 10:31:00 PM |
I'm ill. I just tried to peak under Ramses II skirt or w/e it's called. Ill and quite possibly horny. Oh that reminds me of something! I'll tell you tomorry. (Like around midnight. )
PhillyKat at 8:11:00 PM |
Just gonna start this now so I can keep on editing. Haven't done it in a while...
RANDOM THOUGHTS BY ENIGMA:
Can vigorously dancing while naked give you a black eye if you have big breasts? I'd try it but I don't wanna wind up looking like I dated Mi.ke Ty.so.n.
I had a dream last night that I was attacked on Rodeo Drive by a well known actress. The police let her go after I said I was pressing charges. One cop tried to intimidate me by threatening to put me in lock up for 24 hours. They backed down and picked her back up after I threatened to hold a press conference and call Johnny Cochrane. Wha' kinda acid trip was I on? The acidless kind.
E quote of the day: My mind is a fertile field and from it spring the retarded fruits of my haunted cranium.
Question: If my innards were really twisty, wouldn't I have diarhea or colitis or something?
Be.nc.io de.l T.or.o is like 2 skin folds away from looking exactly like a sharpei. He already looks like a Hanana-Barbera toon. I think it's either a bear or dog that mumbles when it talks or something. One of the really old ones.
It's all Mary's fault. Maddox is about as politically incorrect as Bill Mahr wishes he was. The funniest so far: ugly cars.
Will you look at the feet on this damn cat. They are huge. He has jackrabbit/hare feet. He's a care or a cabbit...a canny even. I was gonna say cunny but then you'd think I meant cunt then again..they're not called pussy cats for nuthin. Hey, maybe that's where the term came from. A pussy cat is a cat that has been crossbred with a rabbit. Somehow in the crossbreeding his ears shrunk. Tha hell is wrong with this kitty? He reminds me of that doll from the 70s whose hair got longer when you pulled her pony-tail and got shorter when you twirled her arm. I guess with this cat you just crank it's back paw. And what's up with the pornographic spread eagle? I so shoulda started that calendar, Kitty Porn. Cats are such whores. You think they got the couch to match the cat? And before anyone says I hate cats....I've had 8 of them so shut up!
Alright, 4 hours later and that damn cat is still freakin' me out. It looks like its posing for Playcat. Damn thing looks like an ad in one of those Las Vegas 'mags' advertising call girls..uh prostitutes..er dates. This cat is a callpussy. And that tail...looks like a coon skin cap! Davey Crocket's cap has been reanimated and turned into a cat. Gah! Someone, please, help me!
If you've got a passion for fashion, and if you have a craving for saving, take the wheel of your automobile and swing on down to... *hee ain't I a stinker*
PhillyKat at 1:57:00 PM |
Hey that pesky little worm is trying to weasel (yes I know but go with it) it's way [back] onto HDs. I'm too lazy to cp it. What? My wrist hurts...too much clicky clicky...so point your pretty pusses at Social Reject and read all about it. The link should take you straight to the entry. If not, click on the link at right...you should do that anyway. Oh and don't piss Jane off cuz, if I see your name on the troll roll, I may die laughing.
*talking to self: this is apparently going to be one of those multiple multiple entry/edit & add like a fiend days huh? yyyyyyyep. 'parently so...'parently so.*
One of my favorite blogs, Rant-o-Rama is private, but you guys have to read this...get your puffs cuz you may tear up *sniff sniff*
As I said in the entry linked above, executives that make more in a year than I can make in 300 years can kiss my ass!
Those ugly, pasty-faced, protestant, caucasian, y-chromosome, golf-playing, wife-beating, secretary-fucking, republican-voting, foreign-beer-drinking, swiss-bank-account keeping, spending their kids' inheritance, selfish bastard toupee-wearin, viagra-poppin, degree-buyin, riding-on-daddie's coattails, never-having-an-opinion sychophant brown nozing schmoozing, backstabbing, grecian formula guzzling, evil-people-never-die-longevity hoggin, soulless fucktard baby boomer, pure exterior but sex pervert behind closed doors and not in a fun-kinky way either, 10% waitress tipping, mistress' plastic surgery-buyin, sexually harassing, lying, cheating, stealing, greasy, slimy, SUV drivin, immigrant-exploiting PIECE OF OVERPAID CEO EVIL motherfuckers.
*sniff* Wasn't that beautiful? *sniff*
PhillyKat at 1:34:00 PM |
Alright I couldn't figure out a good font color so I removed the pic. I'm mad too cuz I love it. *le sigh* Oh well.....NEXT! Alright, why is the red making me wanna go out and bite somebody or atleast pick up an Anne Rice book?
NEWS FLASH
Blogger is a pimp and I'm it's bitch!
THAT IS ALL
You know you change your layout too much when:
You know the color codes by heart.
You have as many layouts as Shelby (no I don't)
Justin tells you to slow down (no he hasn't)
You don't recognize your own site.
You have to ask other people if they can remember what layout you used when because you can't.
PhillyKat at 1:05:00 PM | Just a little something that's been in mah heyad:
The Courtship of Eddie's Father
People let me tell you 'bout my best friennnnnnd
He's warm hearted person who'll love ya to the en-duh
People let me to you 'bout him
He's so much fun
Whether we're walking hand in hand
Or whether we're talking son to son
He' my beeeeeest frieeennnnnnnd
La lala lala la la lala lal la la
PhillyKat at 10:05:00 PM |
Let's Frolic Naked
Ok it's hotter than the 8th level of hell up in here. My undergarments are moist and not in that "Ay, Papi" good way either. (Yeah I know you didn't need to know that, but I felt like sharing. I'm a giver. eww That was nasty! You pervs!) Nelly would be happy cuz I'm about to get nekkid. On 2nd thought, Nelly might go get me another a/c to cool me off. Pay me to keep my clothes on. Unless of course he's a breast man. If I were a chicken, the Perdue family would scare me more than they already do. Did anyone else get freaked out by how much Pop Perdue looked like a chicken? Sonny boy looks too much like one too. His dad looked more so cuz he had that neck. *shivers*
It's times like these that I admire nudists. sidebar: Ever notice that nudists aren't "beautiful"? They usually look like the people that work in your local grocery store behind the register and in the butcher section. Them and swingers. Woo! I thought the sexually....uh....experimental would be all tight bodied. Instead, 'they're jingling baby,' happy to be nekkid & flapping in the breeze. end sidebar When I was younger, I use to want to go to a nudist camp/beach like they did on Charlie's Angels. I envisioned myself hiding behind giant palm leaves watching naked relay races, naked volley ball (I just want to know if more than just the volleyball go flying), etc. You know what? I'd still go but it would have to be clothing optional. My ass must be clothed. I'm not into public displays of pubics.
So, yeah, I'm a voyeur from way back. Thanks to HBO's Real Sex (pick a number) my voyeuristic tendencies have been pretty much squashed. As a matter of fact, I've seen more than I have ever wanted. Though my fascination about The Skin Two Rubber Ball will probably never end, I doubt that you will ever see me ass up, tits out at an affair or on a tv show. You may, however, find me skulking in the bushes around nudists colonies hoping to get a glimpse of them frolicing in the sunshine like cherubic faeries.
PhillyKat at 8:48:00 PM |
New layout. Well same layout, different graphics. I had trouble with my font color. Still not happy about it. I just may del the bg pix of the pyramid.
Meanwhile in the batcave....I can not get my archives to work!!! It's making me kookoo!! Shelby tried to fix and she couldn't do it either. It's baffling. "It is a puzzlement."
PhillyKat at 6:44:00 PM | oops! i del an entry without re-publishing so it was still there. so here are the comments del. if i didn't like bj's i wouldn't have cp'd. vermilionx is linked at the right.
Does this mean your little furry friend is still in evidence??
Geez, you've already named him, why don't you just buy him a collar and leash, a mouse food bowl, some chi chi mouse biscuits (maybe cheddar flavored), some flea spray, and join us ranks of animal lovers?? *snort*
VermilionX | Homepage | 08.21.03 - 7:13 am | #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
see i forgot to del that gibberish but your comment is too funny. so i'll just have to edit.
the mice that came from my neighbors house are crazy. they acted like they owned the house like jerry ( tom & jerry).
i love cats. i like dogs. rodents must die.
Kat | Email | Homepage | 08.21.03 - 4:15 pm | #
PhillyKat at 4:19:00 PM |
More fun stuff:
Enneagram Test. Their explanation sucks, but at least you know your results the next time you come across an enneagram test.
My results are pretty dead on except for the prefer to talk than listen and withdraw/detached parts.
Conscious self | Overall self |
 |  |
PhillyKat at 12:42:00 AM | Fun Stuff
1) The life of a superhero is chronicled on The Hulk
2) Bunny Love - cuz I'm hot
3) Singing hard rock kitty on a hog
4) Arm Wrestle Sigmund Freud
5) Slap a Ho
6) Find out what percent of good or evil any site is on The Gematriculator. I am a little shocked at my results.
Go figure! My site at netfirms was 4%. I gotta do betta *evil grin*
PhillyKat at 9:51:00 PM |
The article title says, Egyptian mommy gives birth to two-headed girl
It's obvious she was supposed to be twins or whatever. I really didn't look at the picture because I don't like such things, but I know some of you do. So click the link. If you don't wanna see the picture either, just read the article.
PhillyKat at 6:27:00 PM |
Alright I haven't started today yet. I'm mad because I can not find my peppermint oil so I can use Brian's suggestion becaue mice hate the smell of mint. That would explain why my aunt's mint plants were the only one's never nibbled and destroyed in her garden.
I quit about midnight this morning. I had the floor pretty much cleared. There's a gignormous pile of shoes (and sneaks) in the middle of my floor. I use to keep 3 pairs of sneaks. I didn't know I had 4 pairs of Nikes, 2 pairs of Keds, 1 pair of Ryka or w/e, 1 pair of Filas, and 4 pairs of I dunno's. Then there are 4 pair of pumps, 9 pairs of sandals, and 5 pairs of boots (yes boots) in the mix. And check this out....I haven't worn any of those shoes in the last 5 months. Honestly I've only worn like 5 pair of the sneaks, none of those sandals (There are 6-7 more I've been wearing..not to mention all the ones in their boxes), 1 pair of boots, and 1 pair of pumps (on New Years) all year.
Don't think these are all the shoes I have because it isn't. I had thrown out/given away enough to bring me down to 65 pairs but I think I'm close to 100 again. Maybe more. I think I need to go to one of those flea markets and just set shit up. If I drove I probably would. I mean some of these shoes were worn one or 2 times like my prom shoes. Yes I still have my pink prom shoes. I have a pink suit that I've worn them with..once only I felt too pinky. All my bride's maids shoes. I also have designers that were killing me. Ou and I have my mom's Evan Picone's from the 60s that are so beautiful. They belong in a museum I think, but I ain't giving them up. Maybe that's what I should do. Sell used shoes and jewelry. Oh I dunno. I hate selling ish. If I had a front lawn (or a garage), I'd sell though. Ohhhhhh I would sell baby! (If you did not say that like George Costanza go back.)
Alright back to Jerry......
Sorry Justin but that bitch is going down, even if I go outside and bring in a stray cat. Alright, I won't do that because of fleas. But I'll borrow a mouser. A healthy, speedy, predatory, awake hunter! Oh, that just made me smile.
PhillyKat at 2:11:00 PM | I no longer need to go to blog directories iso links. I no longer need to hang around other bloggers sites and go through all of theres. Yes, I do that when iso something to read. Now, all I have to do is go through all the links on Social Reject. I found BeerMary that way. So far today I've been to 6 blogs I never would've found on my own. Yeaaaaaa! I've discovered I'm more of a prude than I knew. I hate being a prude. I need to find me a guy so I can bring out my inner whore. Um, k, let's just skp over that bit.
PhillyKat at 10:52:00 PM |
I am a woman with a mission. There is a mouse in my room. When I got back from Miami, I came home to find out that there were mice running rampant in my house. I was horrified. My neighbor apparently had an infestation, which included mama and babies, and put down poison, etc. I live in a row house so guess where they came? Yup you guessed it.
I got some sulphur. For those of you who don't know, mice don't like sulphur. What it does I don't know but it works. You put it down where you've seen them (high traffic areas) and they're gone. Well, I thought they were gone until one night in my room *squeak squeak* I freaked the hell out. I looked for that sucker and couldn't find it. I was up until 7am the next morning. Around that time I heard more squeaking, but I realized it was outside. It was a damn bird. I convinced myself it was the bird and not a mouse I heard. See how I lie to myself?
Let me say now that I am a colossal pack rat of Memnon proportions. Have you ever seen Unstrung Heroes? If you have, you have a clue of what my room looks like. It's just not as orderly as they were in the movie. They had piles. Things in recptacles. Me? I have shit all over the place. I have enough shoes for a village and even more clothes, most don't fit well or at all. You know the song lyric, "Wherever I lay my hat that's my home?" Yeah well...wherever I lay my things is where I leave 'em. I didn't use to be like this prior to the great depression, but I just stopped giving a damn. Now, I look around overwhelmed. Anyway......
I was doing my usual ritual of sitting on the side of the bed looking around, thinking of crying, trying to figure where to begin, when I saw the little muh fukka. I think he was trying to get out. I had had my door open for awhile and had just closed it. It had apparently just walked on in like a friend and was taking it's leave after realizing 'this bitch ain't got no damn food up here'. So, guess who dove into the mire and started moving shit? *hand up* Meeeeee! This will be a very long process (end of week I think) cuz I have a lot of shit and no where to put it. I've already turned my middle room into a storage closet and its full! I'm also laundering every stitich of clothing I have out, throwing shit out, making a big pile for the salvation army (I figure if I'm gonna do something I better do everything).
My job searching is on hold right now cuz I gotta get rid of all this ish** so Jerry has no where to hide (and so I can put some sulphur down). If that doesn't work, I'm going to get Chunky Butt aka Felix "the Cat" Greene. If you're use to seeing me or IMs just send an offline, I'll eventually answer. You know I'll need breaks. But rest assured, I'm gonna get that bitch if I have to sit still perched on the dresser like falcon using a knife for talons..I'm gonna get this little brown mother fucker! As God, Jehovah, Allah, Buddah, Isis, Osiris, ...fuck it.. Satan, as my muthafuckin' witnesses, I'm gonna get this mutha fukka. I HATE RODENTS!
** mostly shoes, clothes, jewelry, and the occasional cd case.
PhillyKat at 5:58:00 PM | I may not need graphics or another layout for this site because I'm thinking of closing it down. I have no idea if I'm talking to myself and like 3 other people who I talk to on IMs or in email. I get well over 20 hits a day, many that aren't weird searches from google, but you say nothing. If you took the time to bookmark me, you could at least speak. Shit, hello would be nice.
Well, I put a guest map up. I had been wanting to for a while. Maybe since you guys can't figure out how to work the comments or the guest book, you can figure out how to put a little pin on a map.
PhillyKat at 4:52:00 PM |
2 Things
1) I'm tired of you people! You don't call. You don't write. You don't read everything. You don't comment for shit! Jay can stay on for 2 minutes at a time (poor thing still has that worm), and yet he managed to comment. If I had a dick, I'd tell you to suck it. Do I sound ticked? Yeah well I am.
2) Happy Birthday J! Remember stick the dolla in his g-string waist band. Don't put your hand all the way down there. That's intrusive. LMAO
PhillyKat at 1:58:00 AM | Layouts Needed
Alright this is a call to all you designers out there. I love my classic movie stars, but I see dead people and they irking me. I think only Lena Horne is still with us. I wanted to keep this up at least until September considering all the trouble I had with frames, netfirms, etc. I was contemplating putting nekkid mens *lisp required* on here. Actually some chests and maybe thighs by just changing the graphics. Now, I'm not so sure. I see question marks. Don't ask me. I dunno.
I need someone who has gone through my links and can design a layout that suits me because I got nuthin. Frames or no frames. Tables or no. Doesn't matter.
I also need one for a site tentatively to be named Dumb Dumb Cakes. This site will house stupidity, lol. Just crazy ish that comes to my mind (or J's but most likely mine with her instigating). The first 2 things up will the SUGAs (Skrait Up Ghetto Awards) and The Doctrine of the Supreme Unhinged (aka My friend Karl). This layout doesn't have to be involved. Just easy to update and maneuver. I have no idea what Dumb Dumb Cakes lool like, but I do know I will know them when I see them. Each page for the sections will look different so don't worry about that.
So, if anyone wants to design me a layout, please let me know via any means you have to reach me beit IM, email, or comments. Oh, I have no money, so this is purely free and something to do. Thanks.
PhillyKat at 2:15:00 AM |
Hey! Mr Station Head, You Could Do (and Have Done) Worse
Enigma's Impersonation of Brainy Smurf: *ahem* "I was riiiight. I was riiiiight." Thank you! And good night. Right about what you may ask. 2 days ago I said: It doesn't look like it's gonna be as much fun as the old ones, but hey..whatever!
This soooooo was not battle of the network stars. This was garbage. It was like celebrity mole but not as much fun. First off, there weren't celebs from each network, thus, they weren't broken into teams by network. Therefore, it was not the Battle of the Network Stars. It was like Xtreme Battle of the Whoevas. I mean Ross the Intern from Leno? C'mon! The events sucked. The only thing that was competitive to me was the maze at the end. They were going head to head. Everything else felt like Dog Eat Dog with celebs.
Note to NBC: If you intend on doing this again, make it interesting. First of, get celebs THAT REALLY ARE CELEBS ON SERIES NOT CANCELLED OR SYNDICATED THAT PEOPLE KNOW. Put said celebs on teams by network. Get the title now?
Have them play for points. Don't make every game worth money for a specific charity. Let each team play for their own charity. Have a set amount for each the winners get this, 2nd place that, and so on.
Bring back the competitive head on events like they use to have in the 70s/80s. It doesn't have to be football or tug-o-war, but it wouldn't hurt. You need help deciding? Call whoever organized *Nsync's Celebrity Skills Challenge for their Challenge for the Children events. It was much more battle of the network stars than your show was. Shit, Joey Fatone hosted one of your reality shows. Call him. Ask for advice. (Why I'm thinking about it, give Joey his own show. He's funny.)
Lastly, if you are unable to comply, do me a favor: Don't do it again! EVER! Let the Battle RIP. Or change the gatdamn name. end of note
Note to ABC: Why the hell did you let NBC run your ish if they were gonna fuck it up? Remember when you guys use to be the #1 station? It was because you use to know how to have fun and laugh. Why don't you hire me to help develop shows? Cuz, quite frankly, you guys suck at it. end of note
PhillyKat at 1:34:00 AM | What the fuck! It's GI George.
He can steal an election in a single call to his brother. He can lie to nations and commit genocide in the fruitless search of weapons of mass destruction. He's G.I. George. America's dumbest hero. GI George is there. GI George! The italics part is to the theme of the old GI Joe toon from the 80s. Right now it's been supplanted by a disco song, "Push, Push (In the Bush)" by Musique, from the 70s. But I digress...
His PR people are working overtime. They so wanna make this man appear to be one of the people. First, it's the deluge of pictures in the press showing him driving a truck in a plaid shirt? We get it already. He's Georgey Texan. Driver of the truck. Rider of the range. Now, the doll. Flyer of planes. Righter of wrongs. Bomber of Iraq. Reaper of the grim.
What's next do you think? Pictures of George looking off like he's thinking intelligently, well as intelligently as he can, with Old Glory billowing behind him. They'll use photo software to soften it. It'll have a soft sky blue background. It'll be oh so patriotic. I just wonder when did patriotism become less of preserving the lives of your people and more of kill them because we can?
PhillyKat at 11:48:00 PM |
The fruitcake lady dispenses some 24k nuggets of pure joy, delight, and common sense. If you watch The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, you should know the fruitcake lady. Ninety-two years old Marie Rudisil has been coming on The Tonight show since December of 2000 when she taught Jay and Mel Gibson how to make a fruitcake. She made subsequent visits and had segments with Tom Cruise and Hugh Grant.
For the past year she has been dispensing advice to Jay's watchers. The question topics range from love to health. Whatever the topic Marie has a comment. She told the rather unattractive man who wanted to know how to get a hot girl that he wasn't hot himself. The 50ish poor fat man discovered that there was no way he could keep a young girl without money. And to the woman who wanted to know how to keep her husband happy in bed, "Move [your hips] like you're wringing out a dish towel." And for god's sake, "Keep Miss Puss clean inside and out."
PhillyKat at 1:24:00 AM | Sometimes I think I'm a sad example of womanhood. Just pathetic. Jobless. Loveless. Almost moneyless. I'd ask if it can get worse than this, but I'm afraid if I say it, I'll find out. On top of that a crush I developed 3 or 4 years ago (alright maybe longer) that I had rid myself of is back much stronger than ever before. It started creeping back in last year, but took root last month. It's all Shelby's fault (had to use Shelby cuz I keep spelling the name J)! You can't put me near talented good looking men. I get all
. I am truly sad. Wooooo "HOT SEX ON A PLATTER"! It's a song, I swear, check the tracklistings for the Boomerang Sdtk.
Alright, this dreamy Pisces has one dream lover and one soulmate that will never want her in a million years. Why? Ooooh, because he's gay. My soulmate is a gay Mexican from Arizona. I haven't talked to him in a bit and I miss him. GAH! I feel like Will when Grace found Leo. How f'n sad is that? I'd be happy if the bitch that took him away from me weren't his work. This must be how doctor's wives feel. Oh my, did I just say that? See, I told you...just sad.
NBC is bringing back "Battle of the Network Stars"! I've been wanting this for sooo long. I think FOX was a fledgling when I started reminiscing about them. I saw some clips. It doesn't look like it's gonna be as much fun as the old ones, but hey..whatever!
PhillyKat at 7:20:00 PM | Well are you? Are you doing your thing? And doing it well? I need a "Do Your Thing" type of song right now. I will for the next few months....shit years maybe. LOL I need a boost. Encouragement. The whole shabang. I love this song. "Believe can't nobody do it better than you!" Shiiiiiit. I may hafta put that on loop.
Hi Manny!!!! I just checked my guest book.
PhillyKat at 3:42:00 AM | I love it when cool shit happens, especially to me. It will be 3 weeks ago this Friday when I saw Euge Groove on my local nbc affiliate performing in concert. I really enjoyed him. His performance was energetic an uptempo and he vibed very well with the audience. I could tell the audience was having a great time. Hell, they were dancing. I've never really seen that happen at a a saxophonist's concert. Anyway, I enjoyed it alot. I didn't catch his name because the news anchor/host is a mush mouth. I went on my merry way not even thinking of it later.
A few days later I was chatting with J about he who shall not strip me of my clothing anymore when he sings (THIS I AVOW!), his interest in jazz, and how I'd like to hear him sing jazz or str8 r&b. She tells me she has a file with him singing on a jazz track, Give It to Me, and transfers it to me. I liked it. The file said Euge Groove and I went on a short hunt. When I got to his site, I found out it was the same guy from the telecast. I also found out that the song is Called "Give In To Me" and that the vocals were laid down by *Nsync and not just he who shall not strip me of my clothing anymore when he sings.
Today I go check my email and there's this email (I almost deleted cuz I didn't recognize the email addy) from
Euge Groove regarding my guestbook entry. How 'bout that? Cool huh? Granted, his manager or pr person probably wrote it, but it's still kinda cool. Don't you think?
Remember it's the little things people. The little things.
PhillyKat at 7:54:00 PM |
Yeah so I've been up for a long time now. I was tired at 6 and sleepy by 10. Now it's just too damn humid to breathe let alone sleep. I had nothing to do so I decided to do the next 50 questions in that damn quiz. I actually did 100 in about 40 minutes.
Questions: 151-200 and 201-250
gatdamnit my f'n comments aren't wkg!!!!! again!
PhillyKat at 2:49:00 AM |
In case you don't know there's a worm attacking you xp users. If you keep getting booted from the net, you have it. They say it has no affect on 98, but something had my cpu by the balls. I didn't shut down but there was something running. It added an icon to my system tray and everything. Virus scanners can not detect worms unless they've been programmed to do so. Here are links for you to download the "cure":
McAfee: http://us.mcafee.com/virusInfo/default.asp?id=description&virus_k=100547
You can download the .dat file or Stinger
Norton: http://securityresponse.symantec.com/
If you do not have the worm, make sure download the patch at http://microsoft.com/security
PhillyKat at 3:18:00 PM |
Well, here we are. How do you like the new digs? All I have to do is figure out the margin thing which Damo will help me with and I'll be straight. Don't you just love how I go around volunteering people to help me? It's endearing, no? Don't answer that.
edit: BLOGGER IS DA DEBIL! I TELL U DA DEBIL!!!!!
enigma/blog.htm should not be updating. the blog portion of http://www.hush-nah-chile.net/enigma/ should not be centered. code has been changed. things have been ftp'd and yet. it changed then changed right back. da debil! Forget Tommy Mottola. Mike was wrong.
PhillyKat at 12:52:00 AM | Hey starting 12 August the site address for my blog will change slightly. There will be no need to put /blog.htm at the end of the addy. My main page at netfirms will no longer exist. So, if you have me bookmarked please adjust your bookmarks accordingly. I'd redirect but I don't know how to do that...yet.
PhillyKat at 3:30:00 AM | Everything I have read regarding the Stripped/Justified tour has either been by teeny bopper screaming mimi's with a crush 'this big' on Justin or by so-called music reviewers who seem to have a grudge against Christina or Justin or both. Since I don't fall into either catergory, I decided to write my own review. To summarize for those too lazy to read it: they worked hard for the money.
So, yeah, I went to the Stripped Justified tour and this is what I thought....
Click name for review:
Black Eyed Peas/Christina Aguilera
Justin Timberlake
PhillyKat at 11:29:00 PM |
Broadway Lights Will Dim Once More
Gregory Hines
14 February 1946 - 9 August 2003
One of the US's last true all around entertainers
PhillyKat at 3:53:00 PM |
blogger keeps eating my posts!
shorter story even shorter:
expect a review of the concert
expect a new addy for this page
PhillyKat at 2:15:00 AM | The Conundrums & Sh*t forum is back. It's officially called Da Crib. The banner will change the name. Next up, Short Yellow Bus. (Actually there is a SYB forum. It's on a different server.) Notice I haven't linked it. I won't be either. I also have a bit of something I want to gloat about but I need to keep that to myself for right now.
Jaybird not only has net tourettes he has ADD. He's on what has to be about his 10th layout in 5 - 6 months (most in the last 2). He loves himself some psp. I think if he gets his hands on dreamweaver he may keel over and die. He's even surpassed Shelby, not an easy fete, I must say. She has a new layout too. I picked it out *cheese*
I really have nothing to say. I'm all talked out really. I do have a request. If/when anyone finds out exactly what songs are mixed with "I'm Lovin' It" by Jus.tin T-lake, please let me know. Yeah I did the little split name thing cuz I'm tired of t-lake hits.
PhillyKat at 12:33:00 AM | Fucking bungholio ultracraptastic asstards!!! And that is all I will say about those gatdamn muthafuckas.
PhillyKat at 1:53:00 AM | ILLITERATES, CENSORSHIP, and MEGALOMANIACS OH MY!
I had a forum, Conundrums & Sh*t. Yes, I said had. It has been deleted by server administration in the growing need for people on the internet to behave like megalomaniac butt sniffing asshats. Since I don't feel like retyping the whole thing again. I'm just going to cut & paste an email I sent to most of the C&S's members. I didn't have all their emails. So, if you are a member and didn't receive an email, sorry.
About 3 new people (I think) registered and one took offense to my telling the denziens of C&S to be on their best behavior or so her husband said. Yes her husband. She fucking went and told daddy....er.....hubby who registered in oder to pm me. I answered him but I doubt he was able to recieve it. Anywho, today when I logged in around 6:00pm est, I received a mail from Jaybird, a global mod, telling me the flollowing was on the board:
Warning!! Your board has been found to be in violation of the conforums TOS! Several violations which include Nude pictures, foul language, and topics that are not suitable to be on a Conforums.com message board. You have 24 hours to correct this or this message board will be deleted! 8/5/03 11:11Am. - Jason - Conforums Admin. (http://support.conforums.com)
Of course I freestyled my own little response to that. I don't know what I said verbatim but it was on the order of:
First of all reading is fundamental. I have no intentions on editing or censoring anyone. the photo is a nude taken by one of the world's top photographers. it's not like it was pornographic. Secondly, conforums admins have been on this board at least 3x and never said anything about the content. so i wonder why now. hmmmm. i still wonder where the forum survivor competition on the support board came from...hmmmm. Any global mod that wants to edit can. some topics are offensive? would be nice to know which ones? you give 24hrs and put 11:11am what friggin time zone!!?
You know i didnt stop there. I started a thread. "I just found out i could delete that message on the homepage, but why, since it was put there by a 33 year old grown ass man to be embarassing, it should stay there. don't cha think?" I'm thinking Jason found something offensive and being the king..er...administration for the server, he deleted the forum before Jay or any other mod could log in. Not to mention no one was able to log in and save anything they had written.
Anyway, having a forum was becoming a pita (pain in the ass) so I really wasn't caring, but I do kinda like having a place to hang out and get stupid with some of my favoritest ever people on the net! So I started a temporary one on ikonboard affectionately called Short Yellow Bus.
Opps! I hope that didn't offend. If it did, suck me, lick me, and make me a sandwich, bitch!
PhillyKat at 8:38:00 PM |
I just finished watching one of my favorite movies, The Women. Directed by George Cukor and released in 1939, The Women stars some of the top actresses of the time including Norma Shearer, Rosalind Russell, and Joan Crawford. It's catty and a glorious time. The one thing that makes The Women stand out is something that no movie accomplished before or since (I believe) is there are no men. Not one. There are references to them but not one testosterone carrier in any of the 133 minutes! And you don't miss them.
PhillyKat at 12:31:00 AM | When You Don't Have a Life, Do You Even Get Lemons?
I was just at VermilionX. I waited all day to see if BJ posted about her date with David, a guy she met on the net. Why was I waiting? Because I have no life and am in need of excitement and adventure, even if it's someone elses.
Before, when I actually had a job, went on two 1 week vacations every year, and a few weekends getaways here and there, I also would say I didn't have a life. I said that because I was dateless, manless, companionshipless, but not stress less. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't see the forest for the trees, bushes, mosquitoes, and that big fat brown bear sitting there scratching its ass on bark. I hated my dead end job and the piece of shit company that employed me. I was blinded by an unhappy work and home life.
I tried to make lemonade for awhile, but I believed I had rotten fruit. Maybe I did. I don't know. What I do know is that now I am unemployed and feeling unemployable. I feel like if I stay here much longer I will wind up homeless (Why do I think that? I dunno. I own my home straight out and my taxes are paid.), sleeping on a grate, and asking people for a quarter (or offer hand jobs for a whopper jr. with cheese). Alright, so I got a little carried away there. I do feel things are or are becoming dire, but a hand job for a whopper jr? Shit that least worth a full number 3 or something. (I don't even know what a #3 is but I hope it has onion rings.)
I now have to do something I've never been good at...get up and go place to place looking for employment. There's nothing in the paper. There's nothing really on the net. I think the quick bet is retail. There are jobs at the ACME, but if I have to resort to bagging groceries, I'm going to run away. Seriously, I mean it. I'm going to disappear. I'll go to the free library and check in with you guys. I'll broadcast from across the states. Say, that doesn't sound half bad.
Anyway, I have no idea how to get a job without answering a written advertisement of some sort. I haven't done it since I was 18. I'd tell you how long ago that was, but quite frankly it's none of your damn beeswax. (Hee, I was on the Indian Spirit forum and someone mentioned when they were little beeswax use to be a bad word. Isn't that just too cute?) To be honest I'm a little scared. It's hard enough being told you're too whatever (remember this is the Too Girl talking) it is that they're not looking for. Not to mention I didn't like being on my feet helping customers all day when I was a teen. *Gah!* Do you have this in my size? Do you see it in your gatdamn size. If we had it in your size, don't you think we'd have it out? Instead you prefer to think we've banned size 16 today! And by the by, your ass is a 20 if it's an inch, hon. *Gah!* My head it aches so.
That local ACMEs will still be hiring if all else fails I guess. Oh that'll work. Me ringing and bagging groceries.....and checking coupons! I'd be hopped up on frappucinos!
Dear Lord, where are my lemons? Oh, the produce aisle! Who knew? D'Oh! On the bright side they have water and honey (or sugar) and I make some damn fine, mmm mmm good lemonade. *smack lips* Can you smell the citrus seeping through my pours?
PhillyKat at 11:59:00 PM | Just added a link to review my blog under Quick Links. I'm not sure how long it will be there, as I'm not one to go around reviewing other people's blogs and don't really expect anyone to review mine. But since Blogarama asks so nicely, lol. If you really want to review me here's the link: Review Unraveling Enigma...sorta
edit: 7:17pm
I am on a level of boredom that only the truly devout have ever reached. I do believe I am starting to float. This could prove interesting (or not). Stay tuned.
edit: 7:22pm
I, Allyson, do solemnly affirm (for the moment) that I will not blog anymore today. ahahahahahhaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh meeeeennnnnnnnnnnn
PhillyKat at 6:02:00 PM |
Feast of Bullshit From My Haunted Cranium
I really like that. Can you tell? BJ, aka VermilionX, has a way of calling someone crazy in a funny non-offensive way doesn’t she? Anyway, I’m thinking of changing the name of my blog (no one really knows the name of it anyway) once I get everything from main page at Enigma’s Conundrum over here. I’m thinking of:
Twisty Innards
Dumb Dumb Cakes for Everybody
Haunted Cranium
and of course… The Seabiscuit of Badness.
I was calling myself The Seabiscuit of Badness the other day. I don’t know what I was doing or had done, but I felt quite seabiscuity. I rather like it. What do you think? By the by, the name of the blog is Unraveling Enigma…sorta.
*******
I’ve come to a decision about my state of perpetual unemployment. I’ve come up with some options for myself that I would like to share. These are jobs, fields, or things to do that I thought would, perhaps, let my God given talents shine. So here goes ....
(hint: click the … for page)
*******
I just heard the lyric of a song by Hot Action Gap(?), but it made me laugh. I got the fever for the flavor of a coochie. I think that’s what he said. They use coochie, hoochie and some other oochies interchangeably so it was hard to tell. I’m thinking the Pringles people didn’t have that in mind.
*******
Hey did I tell you guys about the lady in England that interrupted the music fest by masturbating? No. Dang! I don’t have the link either..not that you need to see her playing with herself. Dude was on stage (a gazebo) with his guitar singing when this chick walks up butt naked, lays down in the grass (near the trash where she belonged) with her grass towards the audience, legs open and starts fingering herself. *roflmfao* The performer kept trying to do his set. Eventually, he left the stage, but soon returned with a can of oil. He then poured said oil (I don’t know what kind) on the masturbator, who, undistrubed, kept stroking herself. WTF is wrong with the English? Woo Lawd! You gotta love ‘em (or not I really don’t care). The Blackadder. Eastenders. The Skin Two Rubber Ball (one day I’m actually going to attend. I swear I am!) And now the naked lady from Gastonbury (however the hell they spell it).
*******
Tomorrow, I have my house to myself. HOT DIGGITY DAG DAG DA DIGGITY UP JUMP THE DIGGITY THE DIGGITY JUMP ME DAWG! I dunno just go with it. Think I’ll walk around buck naked singing old nee gro spuratchuls. * deep voice* Dowwwn By the River…k I don’t know anymore of that one, but I’ll move me a moutain and swing it low gatdamn! Then, I’ll chew ice and sing Hot in Herre while doing the crip walk. Ahhh fun times!
PhillyKat at 1:31:00 AM | I feel like Mittens. (note: look for the turquoise colored cat at right) No I don't wanna eat your hot spicey brains. Damn, what smells good? Er, yeah so......um.....k......Mittens....yes, I've decided to conqueor the world. First, I need a sub that can withstand the deepest depths of the Atlantic. Second, I need to find the underwater sea people. Then, I need to convince them that air breathers mean them harm and that water pollution is a strategy employed to WIPE THEM OUT! I'll rule the world. *tapping finger tips* muuuuahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I'll start a war. A war for my own greed and...hey wait....duh! I'm not George Bush! *slap head* What the fuck was I thinking? *sheesh* Mittens got to me. Good thing he/she doesn't rule the world.
PhillyKat at 10:03:00 PM |
Hey! Did y'all know that besides my cranium innards being all twisty as per BJ, aka VermilionX, they're also like a haunted house designed by Escher.
This is my brain. (Notice it's red spiciness)
This is my brain designed by Escher. A little nightmarish, but it's all relative.
Relativity by Escher
PhillyKat at 9:01:00 PM |
Sometimes Karma is not only a beautiful thing, but quick too. You know how I told ya' Justin was an asshole? Hey did I tell you that? Anyway, he was. I think having bottles, water balloons (or apparent condoms full of pee), and garbage thrown at you while on stage may deflate the ego a bit.
In case you didn't hear at a multi-artist concert held in Toronto to increase tourism, Justin had refuse thrown at him while performing. To be honest it wasn't his fault because he was mis-cast. There's no way in hell JT should've been on the same bill as The Rolling Stones, Rush, and (Lord help me) AC/DC. He's not a rocker. A fan maybe but not a performer. I was surprised when I found out he was doing the concert considering Mick Jagger said some pretty negative things about him a few weeks ago. He basically called him a talentless Michael Jackson impersonator. What did he expect Stone fans to do? At least Stone fans have proved to be consistent over the decades, they boo'd and threw garbage at Prince when he opened for The Stones over 20 years ago.
What gets me is that when Mick invited Justin on stage with him (he did a damn fine job from the clip I saw), they still threw shit at him. It took Keith Richards to stop them. They apparently didn't even care if they hit Mick. Now ain't that some shit?
A picture is truly worth a 1,000 words. Tell me that doesn't look like a silicone breast implant. Or, maybe a saline bag from a hospital. Or just a condom full of pee.
PhillyKat at 12:05:00 AM |
